I often talk about connection as a central purpose in our lives. It’s the source of a lot of our happiness, self-worth, and shared human experience. However, what we do and how we try to connect can say a lot about our true intentions and motivations.
So what do I mean by that?
Think about a conversation you’ve had recently – we use storytelling as a way to connect, relate, and empathize with each other. Right?
Think about the kind of stories people tell you:
- Do they use “over sharing”? Like telling you intimate details too soon for your relationship with them? Chances are this is a pseudo connection, and can actually push people away from you.
- Are they comparing themselves to you or one-upping you? Sounds like they are motivated to build their own self-importance – which does not lead to a real connection!
True vulnerability uses healthy boundaries. It allows for the time to build trust and is held accountable by both parties involved. Who do you connect with like this?
Now, think about how you connect with others:
- What kind of stories do you tell? Why do you tell them?
- When you’re trying to really connect with someone, what do you do differently?
So, I challenge you to really consider your motivations and intentions behind what you share and how you try to connect. Be more mindful of this in your next conversation. Find out what you do differently when you really want a genuine connection, and how it affects the connection you make.