Do you know someone that you just can’t get through to? Where, no matter how you say it, it seems that the point never gets across? It’s like your perfectly clear message is in the bottle, floating across to the other side, and somewhere in the middle it just goes rogue and turns south?
It can feel like you and this person are speaking totally different languages.
Think about what we often do when we’re speaking with someone of a different language - we just speaking really loudly!!! Like they couldn’t hear you.
This is exactly what we do when we feel someone who should understand us doesn’t – we get frustrated, we yell, we even get angry. Gee, that’s the way to fix a poor communication, by communicating even worse!
Then what should you do? LISTEN!
Instead of trying to speak your language more loudly, listen to the other person’s language to really understand them.
What should you listen for?
- Their style- Most people will automatically speak to you in their preferred style. Pay attention to their tone, volume, and accentuation to understand how they prefer to be spoken to.
- Their need- What is the need they’re communicating. And if you can’t figure it out, ask!
- Their suggestions- People usually know what they want and how to meet their needs. Listen for the suggestion in order to know what to do next.