counseling

How to make room for success in 2015

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Happy New Year's Eve! In a few hours we will all pull the curtain on 2014. While most people have already started looking forward to 2015, I urge you to first take time to reflect on 2014 in order to start 2015 from the best place possible.

What do I mean reflect?

- Reflect on your greatest accomplishments and times of growth.

- Reflect on what and who has served you well this year.

- And reflect on the things that didn't serve you as well.

Then... get rid of those things that didn't serve you!

You have to make room in your life for what you want by first getting rid of what you don't need!

How?

Watch this week's video on just how to get rid of want you don't need to make room for your best self and a life you love!

{http://youtu.be/E8i23COo1go}

Share your burning, burial, or candlelighting experience on the blog or comments section of this video! 

Thanks to ALL OF YOU for the best year to date! It is an extraordinary gift to live my dream by working with all of you!

Will you be Brave?

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I'm curious... Have you ever gone to someone for advice or feedback and felt they were just telling you what you wanted to hear? Or feel like they weren't even really listening to you at all and just agreeing for the sake of it?

Even our closest, most-trusted "go-to" people can give us sugar-coated feedback. But hey, they don't want to hurt our feelings! So cut them some slack, right?

In graduate school, I had a professor/mentor give me the most honest (and boderline confrontational) advice I had ever heard. I was complaining about someone and she basically said, "have you thought about how your actions impact the situation."

I was stunned and offended at first. I thought 'you're supposed to be on my side!' The immature child in me wanted to run for the hills and never return because of shame and embarrasment. This was my professor after all!

But what I did was sit there and actually think about what she said. She clearly saw something that I could not see. She said to me what no one else had yet cared enough to say. And the encounter changed my life and the way I relate to others.

Why am I telling you all this?

Because I want to give you the same gift. I want to have those tough conversations with you. I want to push you to be better. And sometimes it will hurt.

So this week I want to challenge you to be brave. When you come in to see me next, talk about the issue you've been neglecting to mention...the thing that's really nagging you. Ask for the feedback you know you need to make real change in your life. Be courageous enough to receive the feedback.

Or, if you've never come in before, take that leap to face the feedback you know you need to hear! Be brave!

{WATCH the video for my promise to you!}

Were YOU Brave? Share your comments and experience in the section below the video (on YouTube) or in the comments section on the Blog.

Are you just FAKING it?

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I often talk about connection as a central purpose in our lives. It’s the source of a lot of our happiness, self-worth, and shared human experience. However, what we do and how we try to connect can say a lot about our true intentions and motivations.

So what do I mean by that?

Think about a conversation you’ve had recently – we use storytelling as a way to connect, relate, and empathize with each other. Right?

Think about the kind of stories people tell you:

  • Do they use over sharing? Like telling you intimate details too soon for your relationship with them? Chances are this is a pseudo connection, and can actually push people away from you.
  • Are they comparing themselves to you or one-upping you? Sounds like they are motivated to build their own self-importance – which does not lead to a real connection!

True vulnerability uses healthy boundaries. It allows for the time to build trust and is held accountable by both parties involved. Who do you connect with like this?

{WATCH the video to find out if YOU fake it!}

Now, think about how you connect with others:

  • What kind of stories do you tell? Why do you tell them?
  • When you’re trying to really connect with someone, what do you do differently?

So, I challenge you to really consider your motivations and intentions behind what you share and how you try to connect.  Be more mindful of this in your next conversation. Find out what you do differently when you really want a genuine connection, and how it affects the connection you make.

Did you try it? Share your comments and experience in the section below the video (on YouTube) or in the comments section on the Blog.

Create the Best Weekend Ever!

Brittany Drozd
Brittany Drozd

What if I told you that you have all the power in the world to make yourself as happy as you want to be?

Chances are you wouldn’t believe me. That’s because our consumption-oriented and instant-gratification seeking culture tells us that we can buy happiness. And to some extent, it works! We are happier in the moment of making purchases and enjoying them shortly afterward. But this kind of happiness is fleeting.

The reason why these purchases make us happy is that we’re excited and engaged in the process of actually buying them. That’s the key- being and staying present!

Ever go to dinner with friends and realized the time has flown and it’s 3 hours later? Or been into a great book and realize you haven’t checked your phone in forever?! That means you’ve been present and stayed in the moment!

Matt Killingsworth, of Harvard University, gave a brilliant TED Talk in which he outlined his research on happiness. Killingsworth concluded, “We're often happiest when we're lost in the moment. And the flip side: The more our mind wanders, the less happy we can be.”

This is even true of activities we despise - like traffic. Killingsworth assessed that when commuters are more present and engaged in their commute, they are happier than when driving while talking on their phones, on social media, or reading emails. You make think you’re being productive, but you’re just making yourself unhappy!

So how do you stay present?

This super easy tactic is bound to make you more conscious and present: ask yourself, “Is my head in the same place my feet are in?” You have the opportunity to bring yourself back to the present moment by focusing your mind on what you’re currently doing.

Why does a wandering mind make us so unhappy?

When our minds wander, they typically go to a few common destinations:

-       What I wish I were doing

-       What I wish I had

-       And who I wish I was

The space that exists between where you’re at now (doing, have, are) and where you wish you were (doing, have, are) is cognitive dissonance.  The incongruence that exists in how we feel about ourselves can be very uncomfortable and disheartening. This is the juice of what makes us unhappy.

What can you do about?

The good news is that cognitive dissonance exists only in our minds. We give it life, so we can also lay it to rest. Here’s how to erase dissonance in your life:

-       Activity: Think about the purpose behind what you’re doing right now. Is your current activity bringing you closer to a goal? If it’s a means to a greater goal, can you reframe your thinking around the activity? How engaged are in what you’re doing right now?

-       Possessions: Do you have everything you need? If you’re reading this article, the answer is likely “yes.” Only once all of our basic needs are met do we have the mental capacity to consider self-development, fitness, and lifestyle. There will always be someone with more possessions than you, but if you have everything you need, can you find more gratitude for that? Make a list of 5 things you’re grateful for right now!

-      

Who You Are:

We all have areas of shame in our lives that we usually don’t speak about. Our job, money, family, body, etc. But often these thoughts get out of control when our minds wander and stretch beyond reality. We make conclusions about ourselves aren’t even close to reality. Change this by staying present!

Take your weekend to the next level by using this tools to be present and live happier right now!

Use the #BYBS hashtag in all pics and posts of a happier you!

Ditch the Dissonance!

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Last week, we spoke about goals and how to create a 60-day plan in order to move you closer to where you want to be.  

Goals are a great thing, don’t get me wrong, but they can be tricky too!

 

Sometimes when we’re reviewing our goals, we can fall into the dreaded zone of getting down on ourselves for where we’re at right now. We want to skip over the hard work and just be there already!

 

I call that space between “where you’re at” and “where you want to be” cognitive dissonance.

 

So ditch the dissonance, and actually move forward towards your goals!

 

You can do this in 3 quick steps [watch the video for full description and action steps]:

  1. Use your goals to help, not hinder, your motivation!
  2. Pull up your big girl pants! Everyone started in a similar place, so take responsibility for creating your success.
  3. “Sweat equity is the best equity!” so get back to work!

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Success is so sweet because of the journey it took to get there. Don’t deny yourself that opportunity for hard work and big rewards.

 

Share your Sweat Equity moments in the comments section below! The best conversation starts here, where we can learn from each other.

 

Work with me to find out even more ways you can make positive changes for your life and get want you really want!

 

xo Brittany

Your Key to Happiness

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Ever look aimlessly for your keys and they're nowhere to be found?! Yeah, this is kind of like that. Frustrating, but so rewarding when you find them!

Ever look aimlessly for your keys and they're nowhere to be found?! Yeah, this is kind of like that. Frustrating, but so rewarding when you find them!

Everyone’s always looking for the key to happiness. Trying to find it in their career, their relationships, and other external things. But happiness has to come from within. 
This is good news for some and bad news for others: the good news is that if happiness comes from within, that means we’re all capable of having it. We’re all capable of being happy. The “bad” news that it comes from within, meaning that you’re going to have to look in the mirror and dig through the trenches to find it. 
Sometimes it’s hidden beneath the very things we’ve been trying to avoid and ignore in our lives. Sometimes it’s smack dab in the middle of us and our relationships with others. But no matter where happiness is hiding, we need to do the following things to find it…..  [watche the video]
Wach: http://youtu.be/JHfWMvZ1ONU
  1. Draw a map. Where was your happiness the last time you saw it? Where has it been in the past? At different stages of your life?
  2. Make a to do list based on the activities you were doing when you’ve been happier in the past. 
  3. Be aware! How are you acting during the day? What’s your mood like? How are you interacting with others? All of these things impact our happiness, and you will need to be aware of what you’re doing now if you’re going to change it.
  4. Give a damn! If you want to be happier, then you’re going to have to make an effort, engage, and care about YOU!
When has this worked for you? When have you been happier in your life? What's something you already know helps you feel happier? I CHALLENGE you to write one thing in the comments section that you will change TODAY to make room for more happiness!

I want to hear from YOU! Send me your questions, suggestions, and comments on what you want to see and hear from me on videos, blogs, and newsletters! I want to give you exactly what you need to be your best self!

Who's On Your List?

I usually like to keep these emails fun, upbeat, and positive. But sometimes you just have to keep it real, and today is one of those days.

On a very real note, I would like to recognize the life and recent passing of comedian and actor Robin Williams. It's important to recognize that Robin Williams had been reportedly suffering from major despression and bipolar disorder.

We hear about these disorders in the media and from friends and family. Who hasn't made a joke about someone you know being "bipolar"? But these disorders are very real, have major impact, and can afflict anyone. So please take it more seriously.

Have you, or someone you know, struggled with depression or bipolar disorder?

 My guess is that you have.

What did you do? What helped you break through your deepe

st bouts of depression? What helped you turn it around to be in a happier place?

What or who was your motivation?

 What was your vision for yourself? When did you decide that this current state wasn't going to be good enough?

Sometimes in life we feel that we're very alone. That no one else is truly there for us. But every one of us needs supports. 

We need people on 

our sides, on our team, in our black book that we can call when life is overwhelming.

Write those people's names down. Make a list o

f the people who are your best supports. Remind yourself of who really is there for you.

Give them a call today.

 Let them know they're on you list of best supporters. People like knowing that they can be helpful for others.

Who's list do you think you're on? Give that peroson a call today, just to let them know you're there.

Life is hard enough. The best thing we can give to each other is our presence, our love, and our support. So please give this to someone today. 

Expanding Happiness

Join myself and our followers in a 

21-day at home mediation series

. Exapnding Happiness is a free series that promises to increase your happiness, share your true self, and foster greater connection with others. Join so you can share in the discussion to come.

3 Steps to Become a King/Queen of Confidence

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Think about someone you really admire or look up to. Maybe it's a mentor, a boss, or a good friend. What's is the key element that this person exudes that makes them so admirable?

Confidence.

Confidence is the frosting that makes a cake look so good and taste so sweet. It's the silver lining that makes us believe in someone, gives them credibility, and deems them trustworthy.

But, let's be honest, there are times when we could all use a little more confidence. Whether it's at work, in your relationships, or for a specific skillset, we can build confidence the same way.

Watch the video on these 3 ways to greater confidence:

  • Do the things you're already good at
  • Picture everyone in their...insecurity
  • Dust off your old trophies

http://youtu.be/WI4OPpAL_08

What do you use to increase your confidence on the fly? Which of these methods will work best for you? Let's continue the conversation in the comments or on the blog.

Don't forget!

The Get Your Head Back in the Game package is only $99 in the month of August. Find out EXACTLY what's stealing your drive, clouding your vision, and make a plan for your success. Contact me to schedule!

3 Ways to Better Relationships Today

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How many people have you already spoken to this morning? How many of those people would you consider an essesntial relationship to your life? And how many of those conversations could have gone better?

It is a basic human need to be part of a group or something bigger than ourselves. That is why we form these relationships. Although we hate to admit it, we need support from others at times as well. And in some ways, the connections we form with other people provide the greatest gifts in life!

So taking care of these relationships is essential! 

Here are 3 ways you can improve the most important relationships in your life, and likely improve yourself as well: 

  • Ask yourself "What's my desired outcome?" or "What do I want to happen?" to get closer to your personal motivations.
  • Be Brave! Share your true self, desires, and needs to further close the communication gap.
  • Show up for them! Be mentally present, responsive, and empathetic - you would want the same in return.

Watch the video for more information and tips on how to enact these changes today! 

http://youtu.be/iG7GEpy6y7s

Share your experience- the good, the bad, and the ugly- in the comments section of the video or the blog.  Let's get the converstaion started around building a life you love!

Where's Your Head At?

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It's summertime! The warm weather, cool beverages, and long nights make us feel good and relaxed.

For the most part, that's a good thing! But too much can take you off your A-Game. Falling off your game can look like this:

- lack of motivation and drive

no clarity or direction

- stagnation and inaction towards goals

This upcoming month, I challenge you to make that different! I challenge you to make a commitment to yourself. I challenge you to get you head back in the game!

For the month of August, I'm offering the my introductory package at 1/2 price - $99- because I want you to make these positive changes for yourself!

This offer includes as assessment and 90-min session. At the end of your session, you will know exactly:

- What’s missing in your life

- What’s stealing your drive and motivation

- What’s causing lack of clarity and keeping you from moving forward

- What clouds your vision and prevents you from formulating an action     plan

- What you can start doing TODAY to achieve greater success

Check out my video to learn more about how to make this commitment to yourself!

http://youtu.be/PT9A14dDiNs

Sign up by emailing me, calling me, or sending a amessage in a bottle. Let me know you're ready for things to be different now!

How I'm a Failure...And I Love It!

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Who doesn't have days when you feel like nothing is going right, and you'll never get back on track?! 

And when you share that with anyone, it's like they're all on the happy train and trying to steer you away from negativity.

But sometimes you need to wallow in your failures before you can see the flipside!

It's days like that when I call on my Failure role models for a little inspiration! Steve Jobs, Michael Jordan, and Beyonce Knowles were all failures at one point in their lives.

It's difficult to even imagine such successful people as failing at something. But they do! All the time! What they're able to do is the see the Failure Flipside! 

When you're experiencing failure, the key is to envision your success in that exact scenario. Watch this week's video to learn the Failure Flipside approach to turning your devastating failures into future successes!

Listen as I share my personal failures, my failure role models, and the key to changing your failures today!

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http://youtu.be/MUckG7WvXmU

What's have you failed at? I know, you're not supposed to talk about these things or let anyone know your weaknesses. Yeah right! Make that different! Share your experiences to empower your progress and help others in the comments section of this video!

I want to hear from YOU! Send me your questions, suggestions, and comments on what you want to see and hear from me on videos, blogs, and newsletters! I want to give you exactly what you need to be your best self!

Want more?

Work with me to find out even more ways you can make positive changes for your life and get want you really want!

Check out the blog for more tips to be your best self and build a life you love!

 

Cheers,

Brittany

3 Questions to Kick Out Self Doubt!

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Ever feel that wave of self doubt seep in just when you needed to be on your "A" game? Self doubt can get in between you and your happiness, goals, and success... but only if you let it!

I used to get sooo nervous when I would post a new blog or share a video. My self doubt would say, "No one's going to like it, your ideas are no good, and all your clients may leave you." Yuck! Why did I do that to myself?

Going outside of your comfort zone may be scary, but it's essential for your growth and personal development.

Your self doubt can serve you in these situations too - by reminding us to be more prepared and utilize knowledge from past experiences. But keep it in check!

Give your self doubt a reality check by asking yourself these 3 questions: 

- What's the worst case scenario?

- Is it likely to happen?

- What's my back up plan if it does happen?

What ways do you let self doubt into your life? What have you always wanted to do, but self doubt has held you back? Self doubt claims more dreams than failure ever will, but don't let yours be one of them!

Find out more ways to kick out self doubt as I spill my guts in in the video below!

Share your experience with self doubt, and what you did to tackle it in the comments section of the video! Hey - we can all learn a thing or two from each other, right?! What action steps did you take? And what changes did you see?

 

Work with me to find out even more ways you can make positive changes for your life and get want you really want! Check out the blog for more tips to be your best self and build a life you love! 

Be your best self,

Brittany

Vlog: Do Less to Get More

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jngXio4uriI No, that's not a typo! When you do less, you can get more of the things you really want in your life! Sometimes you have to get back down to your foundation in order to build a skyscraper.

Hear my examples in this vlog - and share yours below in the comments!

Ever "follow your dreams" in some way and find yourself overloaded with stuff you didn't think you'd be doing? Tell us why, and how you changed this!

Need help making this change for yourself? Contact me here!

Vlog: Self Care is Essential!

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[video type="youtube" id="0njUhhG0_PY" width="624" height="351"] Happy Monday! Are you coming off of one of those weekends?! You know- the kind where you can't believe that you got no rest and feel even more tired than on Friday?

The likely culprit...No self care!

Think about it- what did you do for yourself over the weekend? This is not sustainable to not make time for yourself! You deserve to cared for too! Whether it's a bath, reading a book, or making time for exercise, it all goes into your emotional bank account.

Learn more about the emotional bank account and my self care catalogue in the video! Share your comments and self care success stories below!

You have 2 Options!

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When we are plagued by indecision, overwhelm, or a bad attitude we have 2 options:

Change your Mind or Change the Environment.

The former is the more difficult of the two - but definitely feasible! The latter can also feel like a struggle, but is a real game-changer! Which will you choose?

Change your Mind: Situations, behaviors, and interactions are most often benign. But we are conditioned to attached a thought and then an emotion to the event. See diagram. The resulting thoughts and emotions impact your future behaviors and reactions.

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You have the power to change this! Once your become more aware of your cognitive and emotional reactions to a situation, you can choose to attach a different meaning to it - a meaning that better serves you!

Change your Environment: It takes a lot of awareness, practice, and emotional control to exercise a cognitive change, like I just described above. Sometimes in the moment it's best just to move! Ever heard of fight or flight? Well, your situation may not be that serious, but you could still benefit from "fleeing" the situation and changing your environment. Pissed at your boss? Go outside for a walk. Take your lunch break outside of the office. Or go visit a colleague's cubicle.

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Take advantage of this great New England weather and increase your Vitamin D with a little sunshine! This can improve anyone's mood!

Bottom line: you have two options! Pick on that serves you and run with it! Tell us below which option works best for you? When have you tried using this before? Share comments to spread the love!

- Brittany

You're not Perfect! [neither am i]

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Bloggers! I have missed you.... but not forgotten about you!

Last week was the busiest week at my practice (saw so many clients!), had the first session of the Build Your Best Self seminar, and attended a 3-day intensive training for Core Energetics (part of my 2-year program). I'M TIRED!!!

Yes, I've been slacking on my blogging. My goal is to connect with you at least 3 times per week on here, but that just didn't happen last week. And it might not happen this week. And that's okay :)

That's okay ????!! [Did I really just say that?] Yes!!!!!!!! A few years ago I would have NEVER actively admitted to not achieving something I set out to do. Never mind calling attention to it on a blog post! Have I lost my mind?? [don't answer that :)]

No I haven't! I want to make it okay for everyone to admit to the same! I'm not perfect, and I'm never going to be. I have this idealized image of myself that I'm never going to reach. And I'm fine with that. Because that idealized self doesn't schedule much time for fun, works too much, and doesn't account for real-life mishaps.

If we feed into the idealized self, we create unrealistic working environments and goals that often lead to disappointment and discouragement to keep trying. Ever worked in a place where salaried employees were working 50-60 hours weekly instead of the intended 40 hours? That happens when one person tries to met an unreasonable demand, and eventually it becomes the norm. Now you have a culture that's built on overworking and undervalued free time. Not good for the employees or the company itself.

The US has a disproportionate amount of burn out, workplace accidents, and suicides. I think this idealized self could be the culprit. We need to make it okay for each other not to work towards unrealistic goals and levels of achievement that hinder real life experiences.

Only once we are honest with ourselves can we begin to look at affecting realistic, positive changes to better our lives. I'll go first:

I'm not perfect. I won't be able to achieve all the goals I set for myself. Most days I don't finish my to-do list. I'm human, and I keep trying.

Now it's your turn! Get real with yourself and others. Stop aiming towards your idealized self and reach for something tangible, realistic, and authentic. Get real in the comments below! Tell us about your idealized self and what's gotta go! 

Moving towards my best self,

Brittany

Recovering to Good Health

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  It's sad but true: there is a stigma attached to mental health. Especially for men.

What would you're road to good health look like if this weren't the case? What could you overcome if you reached out for help?

Read my friend Josh Bird's excellent article on mental health and fitness for men. Check out his shout-out to me too!

http://crossfitprovidence.com/2014/04/23/recovering-to-good-health/

Find Your Passion!

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Do you have a friend who is always excited to tell you about their new workout program? How about a relative that’s posting pictures of their nutritious meals? A colleague who is so stoked about their recent promotion? Yeah, you know these people. They’re usually the ones we love to hate. But have you ever asked yourself, “Why are you hating on this guy?” These people are generally positive, optimistic, and fun loving. So what do you have against them?

Their Passion!

These people have a passion for something- whether it’s the gym, a sunny day, or making a positive change in their life.

So when you’re down in the dumps, it’s easy to hate on these people for their optimism. But really, we’re jealous! The real you says “I want that enthusiasm, energy, and spirit! I want to be that passionate about something!”

So how do you find passion?

  1. The first key to finding your passion is understanding passion. Passion is defined as a strong and compelling emotion, feeling, or desire. Passion can come in the form of positive and negative, such as love and hate. If you’ve ever been really opposed to a new policy or legislation, you can relate to a negative form of passion. It’s important to understand that both forms of passion can be fulfilling.
  1. What turns you on? The second key to finding your passion is paying attention to what turns you on. What gets you excited? What activity leaves you with more energy? What would you do if money were no object? List your answers to these questions in simple, one-word columns. What patterns do you see in the responses? Try to create categories from there to narrow it down.
  1. Discipline is the third key to your passion. What are you willing to wake up at 6am for? What do you make sure you do daily or weekly no matter how busy you are? What is something you feel you can’t live without doing in your life? Again, list your one-word answers and look for patterns and categories. Are any similar to your answers to #2?
  1. What do you want to change? What do you wish was different about the world? What do you want to change in your life? Less stressful job? Travel more? Connect better to friends and family? When we notice we want to change something in our own lives, we often find that’s true for others as well. Suddenly, your desire for change is authenticated and supported by many others in your circle. When we see a need that could potentially benefit hundreds of lives, we can find the energy to bring it to fruition. Use the answers from this section to compare to #2 and #3.

Now what?

What common threads did you find in your answers? Start looking there for a theme or category that you really connect with. Then try it out! The truth is you never really know what your passionate about until you give it a chance. Maybe your were certain you would love working in healthcare, but you tried it out and it was much different than you thought it would be. Then try again! You can always return to your list for more inspiration.

Grow your list as well! This isn’t something that will remain stagnant, and will change as you grow and explore yourself and your surroundings.

Let go of feeling like you have to have all the answers about your greatest passions and pursuing your life’s dreams. The benefits of passions and dreams are in the journey, not necessarily the destination.

Already found a passion? Share it below! You never know who you'll inspire!!

Sunnyday!!

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You already know I live Sundays. But today is a particularly beautiful, sunny day in RI. If I have to spend some of it inside doing work, then a green juice is the best compromise.

But it hardly feels like work when I'm putting some finishing touches on my upcoming seminar Build Your Best Self!

I'm so excited to share all these tools and strategies to build the life you really want!

How will you spend your Sunnyday? Share with us!

How your FEAR won't let you Win!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMGFb0HJBbU

We all use information from past experiences, our emotions, and needs to make decisions and take action. Our decisions are usually made based on fear or love. But we don't like to call it fear (because that would be embarrassing!). Instead, we feel self-doubt, frustration, anger, jealousy.

But wouldn't it be nice to act from a place of love? Real, sustainable change can only happen when we change our motivation to act from fear to love.

How has fear stopped you from taking action towards your goals? When did you regret doing something out of fear?

If you've already made this change, how are you acting out of love now? Share your story below to inspire others!