negotiate

3 Steps to Crush Control

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Control. It has such a harsh and negative ring to it, right? Yet it’s something we want in so many aspects of lives. We want control with our partners, in our careers, and over our dog. However, the things we do to gain control are not so good… yell, make demands, not listen to others.

So why do we do it then? FEAR.

Our need to control people and situations is based on our primitive fears that we will not have our basic needs met – including money, love, and acceptance.

How do you make this different? 

If control didn’t serve us well in some ways, we wouldn’t use it so often. Consider some of the ways in which control is useful – planning, making a schedule, and exercising discipline.

But when it doesn’t serve us well, we need to let go control without anxiety or worry.

How do you do let go? [watch the video]

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Use these 3 Steps to Crush Control in your life when it’s NOT needed:

  • Recite your intentions
  • Reality check yourself
  • Stay present

Don’t take my word for it! Check out the video for waaaay more tips and examples to let go of the things in your life that are holding you back from the life you want to live.

Let’s create a conversation in the comments section of this blog to share even more tips and success stories!

4 Steps to Being Heard!

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Do you ever catch yourself saying this: "How many times do I have to say it?" Or "why can't you understand me?" Or better yet "am I speaking English?"

Communicating with others can be confusing and frustrating at best! Sometimes it seems that those closest to us have the most difficult time understanding what we're really saying. But who's really to blame - them or us?  

Great communication is the result of authenticity and love-based efforts to be heard! Are your speaking from a place of love or fear? Psssttt - have you ever not send what you really meant or wantd? Ever held back or held it in? That's fear.

Use these 4 components to say what you truly want, desire, and value to get your needs met!

1.    Observing: The concrete actions we are observing that are affecting

       our well-being

2.    Feelings: How we feel in relation to what we are observing

3.    Needs: The needs, values, desires, etc. that are creating our

       feelings

4.    Request: The concrete action we request in order to enrich our

       lives

Watch the video to see how it all plays out!

What component works best for you? When have you tried this and it actually worked? What's an example in which you can use this strategy that wasn't mentioned? Let's start a conversation in the comments section on this video or blog post!

Knock it off! (your to-do list, that is)

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Do you have a to-do list that feels like it's 10 miles long?! Yeah, me too!

Sometimes it seems that I can't move past a certain item or task on that list. For instance, an email I just won't sit down to write. A small task that I can't do because it's not fun. A correspondence I keep putting off and putting off because it will be awkward to have.

We can become hyper-focused on the obstacles we see in the situation versus the outcome we are striving for. This is we where you perfectionists and perfectionistas get stuck! You want that email to be perfect and that report to be exceptional, but you're not getting anywhere! 

I get it though! Our communication, work, and results are all products of us and say a lot about our abilities, skills, and discipline. But what is it saying when you don't return an email for 3 days waiting for those perfect words to come? Or staying up all night to perfect a report instead of spending time with your partner? Or taking time away from your own self-care to stress about something?

"Done is better than perfect."

Done means you get to cross it off the to-do list. Done means doing something fun after work. Done means getting that mental energy back for yourself. Done means moving forward.

Stop creating your own stress and move on! Here are 3 steps to getting over this hurdle:

- Let go of the idealism: if you would accept "good enough" sometimes from others, let that same rule apply to you!

- Promote self-love: Put yourself on your own to-do list; i.e. take a long bath, get a massage, read that book!

- Improve your balance: Not literally! Just make sure tasks and work time are equal to family, friends, and fun.

What are you stuck on right now? What's your plan to move forward and get stuff done?! Share your story below- it could help someone else out!

CrossFit Workshop

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I had an amazing time working with the female athletes of CrossFit Providence over the weekend! I never tire of meeting new members and seeing the tenacity and strength in each one! You ladies never fail to amaze me with your accomplishments inside and outside of the gym. So in honor of the awesomeness of the ladies at the Women's Workshop on Saturday Jan 25th, I will let all of you in on a little secret I shared with them:

You can have the life you really want!

I know, right?! Amazing stuff! It's all yours, just waiting for you to believe in yourself, your strength, and your truth enough to go get it! So this is where I come in...

Do you have a dream life? I do - it's me on a beach, with a good book, great food, and working 4 hours a day. What's yours? Want your dream life to live forever in dreamland or reality? That's your choice!

Want to choose to make your dream life your reality? Not everyone does. Some are too afraid to share their dreams with others because then they'll have to answer for their lack of progress towards their dream. So they never achieve their dream out of FEAR. Remember what I said about fear...

What's that you say? So you're not going to let fear run your life and steer you away from your dreams? GREAT!

Now what? Strategize for success! You're not going to get there overnight, but if you want to make sure you achieve your dream life at some point, you need a plan!

Below is my Life Aim worksheet  with steps to:

- visualize your dream life,

- break it down,

- determine needed resources,

- prioritize,

- and goal set!

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What's your Life Aim? Share yours below and you may inspire others :) Want help developing a Life Aim? Work with me!

Be Your Best Self!

Brittany