psychotherapy

Find Your Passion!

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Do you have a friend who is always excited to tell you about their new workout program? How about a relative that’s posting pictures of their nutritious meals? A colleague who is so stoked about their recent promotion? Yeah, you know these people. They’re usually the ones we love to hate. But have you ever asked yourself, “Why are you hating on this guy?” These people are generally positive, optimistic, and fun loving. So what do you have against them?

Their Passion!

These people have a passion for something- whether it’s the gym, a sunny day, or making a positive change in their life.

So when you’re down in the dumps, it’s easy to hate on these people for their optimism. But really, we’re jealous! The real you says “I want that enthusiasm, energy, and spirit! I want to be that passionate about something!”

So how do you find passion?

  1. The first key to finding your passion is understanding passion. Passion is defined as a strong and compelling emotion, feeling, or desire. Passion can come in the form of positive and negative, such as love and hate. If you’ve ever been really opposed to a new policy or legislation, you can relate to a negative form of passion. It’s important to understand that both forms of passion can be fulfilling.
  1. What turns you on? The second key to finding your passion is paying attention to what turns you on. What gets you excited? What activity leaves you with more energy? What would you do if money were no object? List your answers to these questions in simple, one-word columns. What patterns do you see in the responses? Try to create categories from there to narrow it down.
  1. Discipline is the third key to your passion. What are you willing to wake up at 6am for? What do you make sure you do daily or weekly no matter how busy you are? What is something you feel you can’t live without doing in your life? Again, list your one-word answers and look for patterns and categories. Are any similar to your answers to #2?
  1. What do you want to change? What do you wish was different about the world? What do you want to change in your life? Less stressful job? Travel more? Connect better to friends and family? When we notice we want to change something in our own lives, we often find that’s true for others as well. Suddenly, your desire for change is authenticated and supported by many others in your circle. When we see a need that could potentially benefit hundreds of lives, we can find the energy to bring it to fruition. Use the answers from this section to compare to #2 and #3.

Now what?

What common threads did you find in your answers? Start looking there for a theme or category that you really connect with. Then try it out! The truth is you never really know what your passionate about until you give it a chance. Maybe your were certain you would love working in healthcare, but you tried it out and it was much different than you thought it would be. Then try again! You can always return to your list for more inspiration.

Grow your list as well! This isn’t something that will remain stagnant, and will change as you grow and explore yourself and your surroundings.

Let go of feeling like you have to have all the answers about your greatest passions and pursuing your life’s dreams. The benefits of passions and dreams are in the journey, not necessarily the destination.

Already found a passion? Share it below! You never know who you'll inspire!!

How your FEAR won't let you Win!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMGFb0HJBbU

We all use information from past experiences, our emotions, and needs to make decisions and take action. Our decisions are usually made based on fear or love. But we don't like to call it fear (because that would be embarrassing!). Instead, we feel self-doubt, frustration, anger, jealousy.

But wouldn't it be nice to act from a place of love? Real, sustainable change can only happen when we change our motivation to act from fear to love.

How has fear stopped you from taking action towards your goals? When did you regret doing something out of fear?

If you've already made this change, how are you acting out of love now? Share your story below to inspire others!

RI Fit Magazine

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Check out my article on Change Vs. Progress in RI Fit Magazine page 54!

Heard of RI Fit Magazine? They are RI's hottest and healthiest new resource for fitness, wellness, and overall health. Check out their April issue online or in print for FREE at hundreds of locations in and around Rhode Island. The best part is that they feature local Rhode Islander's that are fit and motivating! You'll probably see someone featured that you already know! #smallstate #RIproud

Check out this blog!

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Check out this hilarious, straight forward, and real-life blog! I don't often recommend other blogs. But when I do, trust me, they're good!

More specifically, check out his article "16 ways I blew my marriage". We can ALL benefit from acknowledging the behaviors he calls attention to, and recommended "do over" approaches.

http://www.danoah.com/2012/10/16-ways-i-blew-my-marriage.html

What do you think? Share your comments below!

Knock it off! (your to-do list, that is)

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Do you have a to-do list that feels like it's 10 miles long?! Yeah, me too!

Sometimes it seems that I can't move past a certain item or task on that list. For instance, an email I just won't sit down to write. A small task that I can't do because it's not fun. A correspondence I keep putting off and putting off because it will be awkward to have.

We can become hyper-focused on the obstacles we see in the situation versus the outcome we are striving for. This is we where you perfectionists and perfectionistas get stuck! You want that email to be perfect and that report to be exceptional, but you're not getting anywhere! 

I get it though! Our communication, work, and results are all products of us and say a lot about our abilities, skills, and discipline. But what is it saying when you don't return an email for 3 days waiting for those perfect words to come? Or staying up all night to perfect a report instead of spending time with your partner? Or taking time away from your own self-care to stress about something?

"Done is better than perfect."

Done means you get to cross it off the to-do list. Done means doing something fun after work. Done means getting that mental energy back for yourself. Done means moving forward.

Stop creating your own stress and move on! Here are 3 steps to getting over this hurdle:

- Let go of the idealism: if you would accept "good enough" sometimes from others, let that same rule apply to you!

- Promote self-love: Put yourself on your own to-do list; i.e. take a long bath, get a massage, read that book!

- Improve your balance: Not literally! Just make sure tasks and work time are equal to family, friends, and fun.

What are you stuck on right now? What's your plan to move forward and get stuff done?! Share your story below- it could help someone else out!

What's Your Addiction?

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I found so many themes that corresponded with addiction this weekend that I feel compelled to talk about it with you.

Yes, most people know it was the SuperBowl this weekend. Sports fanaticism is many people's addiction of choice. Although there are benefits to feeling like the "twelfth man" - being part of a large community, sharing in the team's successes, and having something to watch on Monday nights - in many ways it serves as a distraction or permission. Distraction from my life, successes I wish I had professionally, and the admiration I wish others had for me. It also gives us permission to behave foolishly (yelling about a call), drink a little too much, and indulge. Between the distractions and behaviors it permits, it's no wonder why so many are addicted to watching football.

This weekend we learned of Phillip Seymour Hoffman's death. It is under investigation, but largely assumed that he died from a drug overdose. Drug addiction can serve as one of the most accessible and strongest escapes from reality there is. So what are we escaping from? Alcohol is a legal drug, but we can easily over indulge. Be observant when you do so. What were you distracting yourself from?

Too often we are unaware of what's informing our actions and living without intention. Yet we have so much going on in our heads - what your partner said to you this morning, how your boss treated you, negative opinions of yourself. But we're not allowed to air out that dirty laundry in most places. So we put on a mask that shows the world "everything's great, I'm just fine."

So where do those undesired thoughts and depressed feelings go? They're there. Always. They won't go away until you observe them and validate them. Make those thoughts and feelings legal. Explore them. What are you so afraid of finding in them? That you're not perfect, that you need to work on your marriage, that your boss isn't always pleased with you? So do the work!

Choosing to hide the thoughts and feelings is only a temporary fix. Soon, you will need an escape or distraction if they fester too long.

Make the choice to not feed your addiction. Make your thoughts and feelings legal for further exploration. Make your needs a priority and do the work! You can get the things you really want - but the first step is to listen. So listen good!

Always be your best self,

Brittany

FEAR

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  What do you let FEAR stop you from achieving?

I used to let fear stop me from starting my own business and giving clients 100% of my energy, attention, and efforts. One day, I took a leap of faith. It was the best thing I ever did!

What are you afraid of?

Decide to conquer your fears and live the life you really want now! #beyourbestself #workwithme

Happy New Year!

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Happy 2014 Everyone! Out with the old and in with the New You! What are you going to do this year to make 2014 your best year?

Since it's January 1st, I know some of you must have thought about your resolutions already. So let's hear them! I'm always looking for new ideas, and I love hearing from readers!

Anyone out there have a health and wellness goal? If so, check out Mind Body Green's website for endless tips on nutrition, mindfulness, and fitness. I learn new tricks all the time on there, so check it out!

What's my New Year's resolution? To eat 1 cup of greens (kale, arugula, or spinach) a day. I make so many goals and achievement plans in my work, fitness, etc. that I needed a resolution that takes better care of me. Because without me, I'm lost!

Share your resolutions and plans to achieve them below!

Core Desired Feelings: feel the way you want to feel!

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As the Holidays come and go, we're left with the aftermath of harried shopping sprees, over eating, and gatherings with those we love and loathe.  So what now? 

It seems that everyone's already talking about New Year's resolutions and I still can't even see straight after the holiday madness! So before you starting trying to formulate how 2014 is going to be "different", I ask you to consider this:

Did you get what you really wanted this holiday season?

No, I don't mean that new video game or tech toy. I mean life wise - do you feel truly fulfilled in your life? When you wake up, do you look forward to your day? Or dread all that you have to do today? Do you love those you are surrounded by? Or do you want a do-over?

Wish that were different? Want to better/fulfilled/desired? Make it happen!

Danielle Laporte does an awesome job of outlining how to get from here to your feeling your best ever! Follow these tips to jumpstart living your core desired feelings now:

- Make word slopof how you want to feel: Take a blank piece of paper and write down your ideal feelings. These should be optimistic, positive, and loving feelings. Go nuts!

- Narrow it down to 3-5 core desired feelings. You will need the focus in order to move forward with this.

- Ask yourself What does ______ feel like? Write down your answers for each core desired feeling. This should give you clarity!

- Activate the feelings! Write down 3 things you can do today/this week/this month to generate [enter core desired feeling here].

- Do it now! What are you waiting for? Take back the control of your life to stop the spinning, feelings of overwhelm, and numbness that all too often stop you for being your best self!

For more details check out Danielle's worksheet for identifying, implementing, and activating those feelings now! Work with me for strategic, detailed, and disciplined approach to making this ideal your reality!

Listening Advice from Larry King

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“Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.” – Larry King, internationally known television and radio show host

It's not often that I get the chance to quote Larry King. So when I do, I take it!

One of the best things we can do to connect to others, learn about someone, and get smarter is to listen! I know, sounds strange right?

But think about this: How often to do you interrupt when someone else is talking? Think about what you're going to say when the other person finishes? Check your email when you're supposed to be listening? Are you supposed to be listening to someone right now while reading this?!!

Clean up your listening act now to be more present, charismatic, and genuine in your interactions with others:

- Stop multi-tasking! If you care about what the person is saying, then you owe it to them. If you don't care, then why are you talking to them?

- When you find your mind wandering, pull it back in by making eye contact with the person. Or if on the phone, close your eyes to focus on their voice.

- Pause before responding. This will make you appear more thoughtful, composed, and present in your conversations!

Want more tips like this? Follow my blog and check out my FaceBook page for guidance to Be your best self!

What is Harvard saying about nutrition?

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In the midst of the Holiday season, what are you doing to try to avoid an eating overload and sugar comas? We know you can't say no to mom's home cooking and Aunt Susie would be totally offended if you didn't try her pound cake! So how do you deal? Make a schedule. Find out when all those holiday gatherings are and write them down. Then make all non-party days the time to recover, restore, and reset for nutrition's sake!

Don't just take my word for it. Harvard Medical School's vast scientific and social research has produced the following tips to make your holiday meals a success - without adding extra pounds to work off after New Years!

- Change your perspective! Good eating is not a punishment, but an opportunity. If you know why it's important and what to do, you'll find it enjoyable and satisfying.

- Change slowly. By the time you are 40, you'll have eaten some 40,000 meals — and lots of snacks besides. Give yourself time to change, targeting one item a week.

- Snack on unsalted nuts, trail mix, fruit, raw veggies, Rye Krisp, or graham crackers. Try eating a few handfuls of a crunchy fiber cereal such as Kashi, or nibble on a cereal bar.

- Experiment with new recipes and meal plans. Be creative and take chances. Instead of dreading your new diet, have fun with it.

- Take a long-range view. Don't get down on yourself if you slip up or "cheat" from time to time.

What is your plan for Holiday survival plan? How do you keep your nutrition in check? Share below!!

What men need to live a happy life

What men need to live a happy life Here it is... all the secrets you're looking for to obtain fulfillment, control, and clarity in your life. Yeah right, I wish it were that easy too! But this article on Harvard University's 75-year longitudinal study does reveal some interesting correlations between men's happiness and their lifestyle choices.

Here are a few of their findings:

- A man's IQ does not determine his earning capacity over the lifetime

- Alcoholism is detrimental any way you spin it- to your health, relationships, and cognitive functioning

- Men who were Liberals had more vibrant sex lives well into old age versus conservatives. This is fascinating!

- There is a powerful correlation between the warmth in your relationships and health and happiness in your later years. So start hugging it out!

Read the full article now to learn more about the changes you can make today for a long and happy life.

What changes are you most likely to make? What are your priorities? Share your choices below in the comments section!

Good News: You can buy happiness!

http://www.ted.com/talks/michael_norton_how_to_buy_happiness.html We've all heard that money can't buy happiness - so Michael Norton tested this. And it turns out you can buy happiness! But it all depends on how you spend it. The Harvard professor found that when we spend money on other people, it makes us happier than if we had spent it on ourselves. He also found this carried over into work life and with sports teams.

So who will you spend your money on this Black Friday?

So Thankful!

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In the midst of the holiday season we're traveling, cooking, shopping, and being busy bees! With so much going on, it can be so easy to lose sight of the real celebration- our abundance. We have so much to be thankful for, but we hardly have the time to sit down and think about all that we have in our lives. So my Thanksgiving starts now with a list of what I'm thankful for:

- My job: allowing me to share my gift with others and helping them become their best self!

- My family: for always being supportive and loving in whatever I wanted to do!

- My health: feeling good and strengthening my body with good food and fitness

- My husband: my always being my partner in crime and supporting my dreams

- My abundance: I have so much in my life, more than I need. And I'm thankful for that. But I also understand that's why I need to give back. I make every effort to bring my best self to the table everyday for those I work with, serve, and love. I deserve it, and you deserve it for me!

So what are you thankful for this year? What kinds of abundance do you have in your life?

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Make Change Stick!

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Happy Monday! I know a lot of people who look at Mondays as an opportunity for a fresh start and chance to make a change. What's something you want to change? So what do people do to make this change stick? Yes, I can eat a very healthy meal and I can exercise for 3 days in a row. But what makes for lasting change? What determines the success of those are able to make stick it out?

Here are 5 ways people have made lasting lifestyle changes in their lives:

- Hit rock bottom to face change: Being forced to lose weight or exercise due to severe health consequences (i.e. diabetes).

- Take baby steps: Set a realistic change goal for your diet by eliminating one food item at a time.

- It takes a village: Get a support team in place that you can call in a time of need. Kind of like a change sponsor!

- What's in your environment: Are you trying to drink less but work at a bar? Hmmm.... Consider working somewhere different to increase the likelihood of your success. Can't change your job? Look at smaller changes that will influence your behavior.

- Take Einstein's advice: The definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." So if you've tried to make a change and it's not working, Albert says to try something else!

Let's hear it! What are doing to make a change in your life? I want to hear what's working and what hasn't for you! Comment below now!

Straight Talk: be honest with yourself

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Ok, I'm going to be real with you- I've had a rough week. I was sick, didn't make it in to the gym, and felt completely off my game. I know, I know. I'm the one always posting about health and fitness, discipline, and goals. But you know what, some days I just don't have it. So I spent some time on the couch, eating poorly, and falling behind on my work. But honestly, who hasn't had those days/weeks/maybe months? Sometimes life happens and we don't get to focus on our goals 100%. I'm not telling you this as an excuse. I'm sharing because I think it's more important that we be honest with ourselves and love ourselves enough to allow for the down time when we really need it. My body needed some rest and recovery time last week. So I let it rest. End of story.

We can be so hard on ourselves at times that we don't think we "deserve" a break from the focus, or that we haven't earned a night of relaxation. We try to cling so tightly to our goals that our good intentions end up leading to feelings of self-hatred, disappointment, and anxiety around completing our goals. One thing that helped me these last few ways was a friend's video on "have to-dos" vs. "want to-dos". I realized I'm the one putting all this pressure on myself. So I can be the one to let go a little.

It's amazing the control and strength we can gain from letting go. We regain control of our emotions and negative thoughts that had been plaguing us. We get to take ownership of that to-do list and determine what can be delegated or cut from the list. We understand that allowing for a day of rest may actually give us the strength we need to be 100% focused for the rest of the week.

So I encourage you: let go of the control, give in to what you body needs; and you will come out restored, focused, and clear on how to conquer the goals you determined!

Have you had this experience? What did you learn about yourself? How did you reframe your actions for better long term results?

Shorten Your To-Do List Right Now!

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmRAX6Gkg-4&feature=c4-overview&list=UUAFP2bl9nnwzZaillDMCd4Q

Happy Friday! Are you getting ready to enjoy your weekend? Or are you dreading it knowing all the stuff you have to get done?

Sometimes we feel so bogged down by our to-do list, it's impossible to be present and enjoy the time really do have for ourselves. What if we could reframe this to our "Want to-do list" versus our "Have to-do list"? What if we owned the fact that we are indeed choosing to do the things on that list, and no one is actually forcing us? Our thoughts >motivations > and actions would definitely change!

John Morgan is an inspiring, thinker, coach, and motivational speaker whose video is challenging us to see it differently. Learn more about John and Hero Club at http://herojourneys.com/hero-club/

Now check out his video about to shorten your To-Do list!

What Inspires You?

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Ever have those days when you just feel stuck in a rut? Your vision and goals are out of focus. You just need something, someone, somehow to kick your butt into gear?!

I do! Some days when I think about my fitness goals, business goals, and overall life goals it feels so overwhelming. Like I have no idea where I'm going or how to get there! But I have a go to solution to help me overcome this feeling...

My muses!! A muse can be anything that serves as inspiration. It can be pictures, people, or colors that leave you inspired, motivated, and ready to create. And muses aren't just for traditional artists! We're all artists and creators of our own lives and designers of our dreams; and sometimes we are bound to get stuck - stuck in the monotony of our routine, our interactions, and our thoughts. And it's difficult to create something new with old inspiration!

Pictured above is Marie Forleo- amazing business and life coach and creator of the "Rich, Happy, and Hot" program. If you have a brand named "rich, happy, and hot", you're doing something right! She shows us that business should be fun, funky, and free to be your authentic self! My favorite color- orange! It reminds me of the sun, warm energy, and tangerines. Yummmm! My fitness muse- Camille Leblanc-Bazinet. She is the modern image of a beautiful, strong woman. She inspires me to never give up on my fitness goals.

So on days when I'm stuck, I just pull up my pinterest account that is full over these amazing muses and I can set a goal for the day. Try it! What's your trick to push through a creative block? What serves as your muses? Share Share Share!

Soulful Sunday

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I don't usually blog, write, or work on Sundays, but today is important!

All week long we are professionals, spouses, parents, sisters, and all the roles in which we have to give. We give time to this, and give energy to that. And at the end of the week we are literally spent! We need a day to replenish.  A day to build up the energy reserves and restore our direction and focus. Sunday is that day. It's a day for ourselves and a day for our soul.

What makes you feel more connected to your world and your soul? For me, it's indulging in the little things: a croissant from my favorite bakery, or attending that yoga class I never make time for. By giving back to myself, I can start to restore my soul for another week.

This Sunday, I indulged in creative time for my business (I never do that)! It felt amazing to brainstorm and think of how to better help people meet their goals. It was also a time for creating food! I nourished myself with kale chips. Such an easy recipe and good for the soul! Later today, I plan on going to that yoga class. Then....I will be prepared to start my week of right!

What did you do for yourself on Soulful Sunday?

New Profile on GoodTherapy.org

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GoodTherapy.org is an exemplary directory to find the best therapist for you! Not only do they verify credentials, but they only allow therapists on the site if they practice "empowering, non-pathologizing, and collaborative" therapy with clients. Our missions are so closely aligned, so I signed up! Check out my profile to see for yourself!