relationships

Share Your Scary

 

How often do you put on a pretty front? And how often do you let people know your truth?

It is SCARY to let people in on the less refined version of ourselves. But you know what? People love it! It makes you more human and relatable.

Watch this week's video to find the courage and opportunities to share your scary!

[HINT] I think you'll find that what you want to share is actually not that scary to people :)


 

Put more soul in your goals for 2015

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Now that the hype of New Year's is upon us, you will feel pressured into a New Year's resolution or goal of some kind. But the problem with that is if it doesn't come from your soul - the place of your truth and knowing - then it's not going to last long.

When you make resolutions from you head, that's just where they stay - in your head! Think about it. A goal of eating more vegetables, exercising more, or losing weight is not something you feel in your soul!

A re-soul-ution looks at the bigger picture: Who do you want to become? How do you want your life to look? Those are the questions that re-soul-utions are born out of!

How will you go all in and trust yourself with a re-soul-ution this year?

Watch this week's video to create your own re-soul-ution now!

{http://youtu.be/TW9jOssnP-g}

I've been receiving awesome feeback and questions from you guys to my inbox. But I'd love it even more if we can create a powerful conversation in the comments section of this video! Share your love there :) Pretty please!

The celebration of dedication

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Happy Holiday Survival Series! Week 5 is all about an alternative meaning of Hanukkah you might not be familiar with - the Feast of Dedication. This got me thinking, "what am I really dedicated to?"

If you're like me, you can list off a ton of things your dedicated to - from your partner to your pet.

But when is the last time you really made good on your dedication? I mean, really showed how dedicated you are to this person or thing?

I start getting overwhelmed during the holidays because I have to go to so many parties, events, and dinners for things I'm dedicated to!

....And then I want to do just the opposite and hide in my house by myself!

Watch this week's video to learn how to avoid the overwhelm and dedicate yourself to 1 thing at a time!

{http://youtu.be/ewk2-agiWSs}

Tells us all about the ones you're most dedicated to! Head on over to the blog or the comments section of the video to share your stories and feedback there!

End Your Family Feuds

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Welcome back to the Holiday Survival Series! This week's video is centered on family. And if you have a family - or any close group of friends similar to one- you know that that holidays can bring a lot of challenges and awkward moments. If you're not careful, those awkward moments can lead to disappointment and strife for years to come.

This week's video gives you the tools your need to avoid disappointment, missed expectations, and displaced anger. Because that is a triad I'm not interested in experiencing!

Use these tools to guarantee a smoother holiday season and let "F" stand for family and not for feud.

Watch this week's video to unlock the key to feud-free family functions! Say that fast 3 times!

{http://youtu.be/wdawSSImFzc}

Attending any holiday parties or functions this week? Use these same skills in the office too! Coworkers are our "work family" and are prone to the same issues!

Thinking about using these tips? Don't think any longer- do it and write about it! Head on over to the blog to tell us how it went! Leave your comments, stories, and feedback there!

Are you just FAKING it?

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I often talk about connection as a central purpose in our lives. It’s the source of a lot of our happiness, self-worth, and shared human experience. However, what we do and how we try to connect can say a lot about our true intentions and motivations.

So what do I mean by that?

Think about a conversation you’ve had recently – we use storytelling as a way to connect, relate, and empathize with each other. Right?

Think about the kind of stories people tell you:

  • Do they use over sharing? Like telling you intimate details too soon for your relationship with them? Chances are this is a pseudo connection, and can actually push people away from you.
  • Are they comparing themselves to you or one-upping you? Sounds like they are motivated to build their own self-importance – which does not lead to a real connection!

True vulnerability uses healthy boundaries. It allows for the time to build trust and is held accountable by both parties involved. Who do you connect with like this?

{WATCH the video to find out if YOU fake it!}

Now, think about how you connect with others:

  • What kind of stories do you tell? Why do you tell them?
  • When you’re trying to really connect with someone, what do you do differently?

So, I challenge you to really consider your motivations and intentions behind what you share and how you try to connect.  Be more mindful of this in your next conversation. Find out what you do differently when you really want a genuine connection, and how it affects the connection you make.

Did you try it? Share your comments and experience in the section below the video (on YouTube) or in the comments section on the Blog.

Create the Best Weekend Ever!

Brittany Drozd
Brittany Drozd

What if I told you that you have all the power in the world to make yourself as happy as you want to be?

Chances are you wouldn’t believe me. That’s because our consumption-oriented and instant-gratification seeking culture tells us that we can buy happiness. And to some extent, it works! We are happier in the moment of making purchases and enjoying them shortly afterward. But this kind of happiness is fleeting.

The reason why these purchases make us happy is that we’re excited and engaged in the process of actually buying them. That’s the key- being and staying present!

Ever go to dinner with friends and realized the time has flown and it’s 3 hours later? Or been into a great book and realize you haven’t checked your phone in forever?! That means you’ve been present and stayed in the moment!

Matt Killingsworth, of Harvard University, gave a brilliant TED Talk in which he outlined his research on happiness. Killingsworth concluded, “We're often happiest when we're lost in the moment. And the flip side: The more our mind wanders, the less happy we can be.”

This is even true of activities we despise - like traffic. Killingsworth assessed that when commuters are more present and engaged in their commute, they are happier than when driving while talking on their phones, on social media, or reading emails. You make think you’re being productive, but you’re just making yourself unhappy!

So how do you stay present?

This super easy tactic is bound to make you more conscious and present: ask yourself, “Is my head in the same place my feet are in?” You have the opportunity to bring yourself back to the present moment by focusing your mind on what you’re currently doing.

Why does a wandering mind make us so unhappy?

When our minds wander, they typically go to a few common destinations:

-       What I wish I were doing

-       What I wish I had

-       And who I wish I was

The space that exists between where you’re at now (doing, have, are) and where you wish you were (doing, have, are) is cognitive dissonance.  The incongruence that exists in how we feel about ourselves can be very uncomfortable and disheartening. This is the juice of what makes us unhappy.

What can you do about?

The good news is that cognitive dissonance exists only in our minds. We give it life, so we can also lay it to rest. Here’s how to erase dissonance in your life:

-       Activity: Think about the purpose behind what you’re doing right now. Is your current activity bringing you closer to a goal? If it’s a means to a greater goal, can you reframe your thinking around the activity? How engaged are in what you’re doing right now?

-       Possessions: Do you have everything you need? If you’re reading this article, the answer is likely “yes.” Only once all of our basic needs are met do we have the mental capacity to consider self-development, fitness, and lifestyle. There will always be someone with more possessions than you, but if you have everything you need, can you find more gratitude for that? Make a list of 5 things you’re grateful for right now!

-      

Who You Are:

We all have areas of shame in our lives that we usually don’t speak about. Our job, money, family, body, etc. But often these thoughts get out of control when our minds wander and stretch beyond reality. We make conclusions about ourselves aren’t even close to reality. Change this by staying present!

Take your weekend to the next level by using this tools to be present and live happier right now!

Use the #BYBS hashtag in all pics and posts of a happier you!

Are You Really Satisfied?

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Are You Really Satisfied? If I asked you to rate how you feel about your life right now, how would you rate it? A solid 8 out of 10, or more like a 5 because it could really be better?

Why do I ask?

A Wall Street Journal article posed this question recently: “Are you a Satisficer of a Maximizer?” The researchers asked a series of questions to see if people were generally satisfied with what they have (job, possessions, lifestyle) or if they found themselves always searching for the next best thing.

Why is this important?

What the researchers found is that there is a significant gap in “happiness” between the Satisficers and Maximizers. And the Satisficers come out on top!

Surprised by these results? At first it may seem that they’re suggesting you lower your standards. But what the research really suggests is that you need more gratitude in your life!

Come over to the blog to watch the video for ways to get more grateful and become a Satisficer!

In the comments, I’d love to hear from you!

Have you ever felt overwhelming nagging to have something different – a car, a job? Or, if you’ve been about to get over that “next best thing” search and have a story to share, let us know!

3 Steps to Crush Control

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Control. It has such a harsh and negative ring to it, right? Yet it’s something we want in so many aspects of lives. We want control with our partners, in our careers, and over our dog. However, the things we do to gain control are not so good… yell, make demands, not listen to others.

So why do we do it then? FEAR.

Our need to control people and situations is based on our primitive fears that we will not have our basic needs met – including money, love, and acceptance.

How do you make this different? 

If control didn’t serve us well in some ways, we wouldn’t use it so often. Consider some of the ways in which control is useful – planning, making a schedule, and exercising discipline.

But when it doesn’t serve us well, we need to let go control without anxiety or worry.

How do you do let go? [watch the video]

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Use these 3 Steps to Crush Control in your life when it’s NOT needed:

  • Recite your intentions
  • Reality check yourself
  • Stay present

Don’t take my word for it! Check out the video for waaaay more tips and examples to let go of the things in your life that are holding you back from the life you want to live.

Let’s create a conversation in the comments section of this blog to share even more tips and success stories!

Ditch the Dissonance!

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Last week, we spoke about goals and how to create a 60-day plan in order to move you closer to where you want to be.  

Goals are a great thing, don’t get me wrong, but they can be tricky too!

 

Sometimes when we’re reviewing our goals, we can fall into the dreaded zone of getting down on ourselves for where we’re at right now. We want to skip over the hard work and just be there already!

 

I call that space between “where you’re at” and “where you want to be” cognitive dissonance.

 

So ditch the dissonance, and actually move forward towards your goals!

 

You can do this in 3 quick steps [watch the video for full description and action steps]:

  1. Use your goals to help, not hinder, your motivation!
  2. Pull up your big girl pants! Everyone started in a similar place, so take responsibility for creating your success.
  3. “Sweat equity is the best equity!” so get back to work!

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Success is so sweet because of the journey it took to get there. Don’t deny yourself that opportunity for hard work and big rewards.

 

Share your Sweat Equity moments in the comments section below! The best conversation starts here, where we can learn from each other.

 

Work with me to find out even more ways you can make positive changes for your life and get want you really want!

 

xo Brittany

Super Successful September!

Happy September!

September is my favorite month for a few reasons- perfect weather (warm days, cool nights), fall clothes and boots, and back to school time (renewed energy and focus).

And like the students, September is when I go back to school too! Who doesn’t let the reigns loose during the summer?! You stay out later, live in the moment, and are slightly less responsible.

But with Labor Day comes the next season and next chapter of your unique story. Make sure it tells the story you want - with achievements and successes you're proud of! This requires renewed focus, vision, and strategy to get to where we want to be!

I want you to have a super successful September with a 60-day plan.

What’s a 60-day plan? A simple, clear way to see your goals for success. All you need in your 60-Day Plan for Success:

- title (hint hint... 60-day plan!)

- dates of plan (*if you start today, it's 9/2-11/1)

- listed goals

- and action steps

Watch the video for more details on how to make your own 60-day plan today!

Watch: 

http://youtu.be/

qxk7KRbtxS8

What did you put on your 60-day plan? What action step will you take first? 

Let's start a conversation

in the comments section on this video or blog post!

4 Steps to Being Heard!

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Do you ever catch yourself saying this: "How many times do I have to say it?" Or "why can't you understand me?" Or better yet "am I speaking English?"

Communicating with others can be confusing and frustrating at best! Sometimes it seems that those closest to us have the most difficult time understanding what we're really saying. But who's really to blame - them or us?  

Great communication is the result of authenticity and love-based efforts to be heard! Are your speaking from a place of love or fear? Psssttt - have you ever not send what you really meant or wantd? Ever held back or held it in? That's fear.

Use these 4 components to say what you truly want, desire, and value to get your needs met!

1.    Observing: The concrete actions we are observing that are affecting

       our well-being

2.    Feelings: How we feel in relation to what we are observing

3.    Needs: The needs, values, desires, etc. that are creating our

       feelings

4.    Request: The concrete action we request in order to enrich our

       lives

Watch the video to see how it all plays out!

What component works best for you? When have you tried this and it actually worked? What's an example in which you can use this strategy that wasn't mentioned? Let's start a conversation in the comments section on this video or blog post!

3 Steps to Become a King/Queen of Confidence

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Think about someone you really admire or look up to. Maybe it's a mentor, a boss, or a good friend. What's is the key element that this person exudes that makes them so admirable?

Confidence.

Confidence is the frosting that makes a cake look so good and taste so sweet. It's the silver lining that makes us believe in someone, gives them credibility, and deems them trustworthy.

But, let's be honest, there are times when we could all use a little more confidence. Whether it's at work, in your relationships, or for a specific skillset, we can build confidence the same way.

Watch the video on these 3 ways to greater confidence:

  • Do the things you're already good at
  • Picture everyone in their...insecurity
  • Dust off your old trophies

http://youtu.be/WI4OPpAL_08

What do you use to increase your confidence on the fly? Which of these methods will work best for you? Let's continue the conversation in the comments or on the blog.

Don't forget!

The Get Your Head Back in the Game package is only $99 in the month of August. Find out EXACTLY what's stealing your drive, clouding your vision, and make a plan for your success. Contact me to schedule!

3 Ways to Better Relationships Today

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How many people have you already spoken to this morning? How many of those people would you consider an essesntial relationship to your life? And how many of those conversations could have gone better?

It is a basic human need to be part of a group or something bigger than ourselves. That is why we form these relationships. Although we hate to admit it, we need support from others at times as well. And in some ways, the connections we form with other people provide the greatest gifts in life!

So taking care of these relationships is essential! 

Here are 3 ways you can improve the most important relationships in your life, and likely improve yourself as well: 

  • Ask yourself "What's my desired outcome?" or "What do I want to happen?" to get closer to your personal motivations.
  • Be Brave! Share your true self, desires, and needs to further close the communication gap.
  • Show up for them! Be mentally present, responsive, and empathetic - you would want the same in return.

Watch the video for more information and tips on how to enact these changes today! 

http://youtu.be/iG7GEpy6y7s

Share your experience- the good, the bad, and the ugly- in the comments section of the video or the blog.  Let's get the converstaion started around building a life you love!

How I'm a Failure...And I Love It!

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Who doesn't have days when you feel like nothing is going right, and you'll never get back on track?! 

And when you share that with anyone, it's like they're all on the happy train and trying to steer you away from negativity.

But sometimes you need to wallow in your failures before you can see the flipside!

It's days like that when I call on my Failure role models for a little inspiration! Steve Jobs, Michael Jordan, and Beyonce Knowles were all failures at one point in their lives.

It's difficult to even imagine such successful people as failing at something. But they do! All the time! What they're able to do is the see the Failure Flipside! 

When you're experiencing failure, the key is to envision your success in that exact scenario. Watch this week's video to learn the Failure Flipside approach to turning your devastating failures into future successes!

Listen as I share my personal failures, my failure role models, and the key to changing your failures today!

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http://youtu.be/MUckG7WvXmU

What's have you failed at? I know, you're not supposed to talk about these things or let anyone know your weaknesses. Yeah right! Make that different! Share your experiences to empower your progress and help others in the comments section of this video!

I want to hear from YOU! Send me your questions, suggestions, and comments on what you want to see and hear from me on videos, blogs, and newsletters! I want to give you exactly what you need to be your best self!

Want more?

Work with me to find out even more ways you can make positive changes for your life and get want you really want!

Check out the blog for more tips to be your best self and build a life you love!

 

Cheers,

Brittany

3 Questions to Kick Out Self Doubt!

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Ever feel that wave of self doubt seep in just when you needed to be on your "A" game? Self doubt can get in between you and your happiness, goals, and success... but only if you let it!

I used to get sooo nervous when I would post a new blog or share a video. My self doubt would say, "No one's going to like it, your ideas are no good, and all your clients may leave you." Yuck! Why did I do that to myself?

Going outside of your comfort zone may be scary, but it's essential for your growth and personal development.

Your self doubt can serve you in these situations too - by reminding us to be more prepared and utilize knowledge from past experiences. But keep it in check!

Give your self doubt a reality check by asking yourself these 3 questions: 

- What's the worst case scenario?

- Is it likely to happen?

- What's my back up plan if it does happen?

What ways do you let self doubt into your life? What have you always wanted to do, but self doubt has held you back? Self doubt claims more dreams than failure ever will, but don't let yours be one of them!

Find out more ways to kick out self doubt as I spill my guts in in the video below!

Share your experience with self doubt, and what you did to tackle it in the comments section of the video! Hey - we can all learn a thing or two from each other, right?! What action steps did you take? And what changes did you see?

 

Work with me to find out even more ways you can make positive changes for your life and get want you really want! Check out the blog for more tips to be your best self and build a life you love! 

Be your best self,

Brittany

You Vs. Summer - Will you lose?

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discipline1

Picture this: You’ve worked really hard since January to work out regularly, cut out sugar and carbs, and make your needs a priority to get healthy and improve your life.

Fast forward to July: You’re at happy hour on a Tuesday drinking beer and sharing nachos with friends. You’ll end up staying out late and feeling terrible for work tomorrow. You’ll soon forget the pain and repeat the cycle on Thursday, Saturday, and so on.

What happened???!! You were doing so well with your health and goals!

Even those with the best of habits and intentions succumb to the stronghold of summer. Its long, warm nights, laughter, and relaxation… Wait, what am I saying?! You’ve worked so hard to get this healthy. Are you really going to let it all go now?

You wouldn’t be reading RI Fit Magazine if you weren’t interested in your health and wellness. Summer can sneak up on you and attack your wellness goals and all the progress you’ve made without much notice. Before you know it, you could be back where you started – at your old weight, with your poor diet, and inconsistent exercise.

Avoid this regression by making a plan for summer success! Know your obstacles and determine action steps to overcome them ahead of time.

Here are some common obstacles that you’ll encounter this summer, and ways to overcome them in order to maintain your health and wellness:

You vs. time with friends

Who wouldn’t want to see more of their friends and family this time of year, whether it’s at a BBQ, the beach, or doing something active? The key here is quality over quantity. If you say yes to everything, you will end up exhausted and overwhelmed. Ask yourself, “How does this outing serve me? Is this something that makes me happy?”

You vs. the gym

Not getting to the gym because you’re spending too much time hanging out with friends? Get a sweat buddy! Tell someone your fitness goals for the summer and make a commitment to keep each other accountable. Find a time to exercise together, because you’re more likely to keep that appointment with them.

You vs. the food

Make a list of the foods you can have all the time, for example fruits and vegetables; food you can have once daily, such a dairy or breads; and foods that you never want to be eating, like super sugary foods or bagels. Make these three lists based on your diet and goals ahead of time to in order to avoid nutrition sabotage on a weekend getaway.

You vs. the beer

Who doesn’t like a Summer Shandy when the sun is out on a Sunday afternoon? The key to this one is moderation. When we tell ourselves “no” to something, it can make us want it more. Figure out the number of drinks you want to have based on your wellness goals and set that limit before you start drinking. Always make sure you have a designated driver too!

You vs. Sleep

Sleep is one of the most important wellness indicators that everyone forgets about. If you’re not getting good sleep, then your work, relationships, and fitness will likely suffer too. Set a curfew for yourself! Determine an amount of time that you require for adequate rest – aim for at least 7 hours. Starting from the time you need to be at work the following day, count backwards to the time that you’d need to be in bed to get your adequate sleep. This is your curfew time!

Share your summer tips and success stories in the comments sections below!

The best bad advice I’ve ever heard!

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I was lucky enough to go to New York City a few weeks ago and see the Book of Mormon on Broadway. Such a fantastic show in case you haven’t heard! Anyway, one of the songs really struck me, and I think it’s got to be the best bad advice I’ve ever heard: Turn in off!

See the lyrics for yourself:

You say you got a problem, well thats no problem, It's super easy not to feel that way!

When you start to get confused because of thoughts in your head, Don't feel those feelings! Hold them in instead

Turn it off, like a light switch just go click!”

 

Don’t feel those feelings?

Hold them in?

Turn it off?????

Although the song is clearly ridiculous and exaggerates, I think we (as in YOU and ME) think we can really handle our problems this way! Ever try to “shake” a bad feeling or thought? I think that’s the same as “turning it off”.

So what should you do instead?

Information is power! And there is tons of information in all those feelings, thoughts, and signals our body and brains send us all the time. Don’t turn those off! Listen to what they’re trying to say! You don’t necessarily have to follow through on all their suggestions. But the more information you have, more informed of a decision you can make!

Ever had a thought or feeling you couldn’t shake? What was the signal your body was trying to send you? How did you make use of that information instead?  Tell us all about it in the comments section below!

Happy healing,

Brittany

PS- see the full song here!

 

Vlog: Self Care is Essential!

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[video type="youtube" id="0njUhhG0_PY" width="624" height="351"] Happy Monday! Are you coming off of one of those weekends?! You know- the kind where you can't believe that you got no rest and feel even more tired than on Friday?

The likely culprit...No self care!

Think about it- what did you do for yourself over the weekend? This is not sustainable to not make time for yourself! You deserve to cared for too! Whether it's a bath, reading a book, or making time for exercise, it all goes into your emotional bank account.

Learn more about the emotional bank account and my self care catalogue in the video! Share your comments and self care success stories below!

You have 2 Options!

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When we are plagued by indecision, overwhelm, or a bad attitude we have 2 options:

Change your Mind or Change the Environment.

The former is the more difficult of the two - but definitely feasible! The latter can also feel like a struggle, but is a real game-changer! Which will you choose?

Change your Mind: Situations, behaviors, and interactions are most often benign. But we are conditioned to attached a thought and then an emotion to the event. See diagram. The resulting thoughts and emotions impact your future behaviors and reactions.

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You have the power to change this! Once your become more aware of your cognitive and emotional reactions to a situation, you can choose to attach a different meaning to it - a meaning that better serves you!

Change your Environment: It takes a lot of awareness, practice, and emotional control to exercise a cognitive change, like I just described above. Sometimes in the moment it's best just to move! Ever heard of fight or flight? Well, your situation may not be that serious, but you could still benefit from "fleeing" the situation and changing your environment. Pissed at your boss? Go outside for a walk. Take your lunch break outside of the office. Or go visit a colleague's cubicle.

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Take advantage of this great New England weather and increase your Vitamin D with a little sunshine! This can improve anyone's mood!

Bottom line: you have two options! Pick on that serves you and run with it! Tell us below which option works best for you? When have you tried using this before? Share comments to spread the love!

- Brittany