Do you criticize others? Or can you look at your own actions? Would you date you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEtYN-R4zSk Find out more information about my 4-week seminar by contacting me on this website or via email at firstname.lastname@example.org!
Be brave enough to take the risk to build a better you!
Ever find yourself making this face? Yeah, not so pretty is it?! It's like you have to put actual, conscious effort into making this face. That means sending disdain and negativity into your body in order to make this expression! What? Why?! Sounds terrible, right?
So why do we sometimes create negativity from within ourselves and send it outwards into the world via this nasty face?
- You don't like someone.
- Something is not working out in your favor.
- You see someone as the competition.
On the surface you may say, "yeah, I can see myself hating on someone for those reasons." In that case, I challenge you to take a deeper look at why you are hating...
- Are you jealous? Probably! Find out why.
- Are you reflecting on your own weaknesses when you see someone else excelling?
- Do you secretly feel everything should work out for you? Why? What makes you so special?
Don't hate, appreciate.
How can you turn that awful face and self-created hate into positive appreciation for the person or thing?
- See the person as a blessing that's pushing you to be better (the competition trigger).
- Understand your jealousy towards someone, and instead, use that energy to work on improving yourself versus beating others down (the "don't like" trigger).
- See how this situation can be a learning experience and benefit you down the road (the "not in my favor" trigger).
Ever caught yourself making this face or creating the hate? Tell us about it! What did you do to correct it ? Share your comments below!
Be your best self today,
Check out this hilarious, straight forward, and real-life blog! I don't often recommend other blogs. But when I do, trust me, they're good!
More specifically, check out his article "16 ways I blew my marriage". We can ALL benefit from acknowledging the behaviors he calls attention to, and recommended "do over" approaches.
What do you think? Share your comments below!
So often we run around wishing things were different about our lives, and our selves. What if you could change that?
In this video, 4 women received professional makeup, styling, and photography to make them look like "Cover Girls." Every woman's dream, right? Well, their reactions may surprise you.
Not only did these women feel that they didn't recognize themselves, they had overall negative reactions to being so drastically photoshopped. They even said, "I don't even know that person."
How do you project this is your own life? Do you wish you looked like someone else? Had someone else's career? Someone's life? That would fix everything! Right?!
Wrong. Don't ask to look like someone else. Or be someone else. Be yourself. Be your best self.
“Only two things in life are certain – death and taxes.” Heard this before? Definitely rings true during tax season! But I’d like to propose that something else is certain as well: Change.
While it often seems that we’re stuck in a rut, we know that change will come. Why? Because it has every time before! We used to be little, then we grew. We used to have flip phones, now we have iPhones. We used to have no clue about our health, now we’re educated on how to be healthy.
We know change is coming; yet we still talk about making changes as if it’s some elusive challenge. Change is certain. Progress is not.
So what’s progress? Progress in your fitness? Nutrition? Overall health? If change is anything different from the status quo, then progress is a change that is more specific, goal-oriented, and measurable.
Progress is a measure of relativity. You’re moving towards change in a specific direction. Movement on that trajectory is identified as progress. If you altered your habits to lose weight, but it resulted in weight gain, this is change but not progress. If you started a healthy diet to lose weight, and we’re gradually losing the weight, this is progress.
You need a goal in order to measure progress from change. PS- “I want to be healthy” is not a goal, it’s a statement. Make sure your goal has specifics, a timeline, and is measurable.
Specifics: Try “I will eat 3 servings of vegetables daily” versus “I will eat healthy”. By articulating the specific thing you will do, you will be more likely to actually do it!
Timeline: Create timeframes, start dates, and deadlines for yourself. Otherwise, your “Someday” will likely never come. Here’s a sample of a timeline - “I will eat 3 servings of vegetables daily for 6 consecutive weeks, beginning March 9th.”
Measurement: How do you know you’re not at your goal already? How do you know if you’re making progress towards your goal? Most importantly, how will you know when you’ve reached your goal? Measurement. This is key to the whole process of making progress and achieving your best self.
Ask yourself these questions to assess your goal for measurability:
- Can you count it?
- Can you create a percentage from your results to determine your progress? (i.e. I ate 3 servings of veggies 3 out of 5 days thus far= 60% progress towards goal).
- Can you make adjustments to your goal based on your findings from your percentage and experience? (i.e. maybe only 2 servings of veggies daily is more reasonable for you. Maybe 5 days weekly versus 7 is better for you).
*This is not to say that you should lower your standards, but continuing to progress on an adjusted goal is more beneficial than failing miserably on a strict, unattainable goal.
Ok, Let’s go over what we know:
- We know that change will come. The question is how, when, and in which direction?
- We know that progress is necessary for improvement, not just change.
- We need a goal in order to distinguish progress from change.
- Our goal needs to be specific, have a timeline, and be measurable in order to evaluate progress.
If you don’t have a plan, you plan to fail. So make a plan, make progress and achieve your goals. This success will build your momentum for future goals and future successes. Progress, not change, is necessary to become your best self.
'Is she really comparing my life to a bookshelf?' you might be asking yourself. The answer is yes. If you're like me, then your life IS like a disorganized bookshelf.
What do I mean? Our mind works like a series shelves and compartments. We see something, think something, experience something, and then we categorize it. These categories act as compartments and cubbies in our brains- strictly organizing the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors of ourselves and others accordingly. The categories, compartments, and cubbies are created based on our mental schemas, or mind frames. For instance, if you're religious, you may believe that premarital sex is bad. That belief acts a blueprint for other thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to be categorized. So if a friend shares something about their relationship, you may categorize them as good or bad based on your pre-developed schema. Got it?
Make space in your bookshelf. Make space for new ideas, feelings, and a new schema. Think about the schemas and mind frames your parents hold. How are yours similar and different? How did you develop different schemas than your parents on the same principles/thoughts? Your experience! And thank goodness for it! If our thoughts and perspective stayed the same for generations, then we wouldn't have civil rights and marriage equality.
So how are the cubbies on your bookshelf serving you? Or not serving you? What categories should you eliminate, combine, or make more room for? Hint: Making more room to explore your rationalization for certain schemas, being open to new schemas, and new labels for healthier schemas is key! Until we accept our need for growth and make it a priority, your bookshelf will appear full and crowded. Get rid of what's not serving you for some new books (ideas)!
Your bookshelf is for practicing containment. For instance, one cubby of your bookshelf (the self-help section!) may be overflowing with books, going all different directions, and very few have actually been read. Sound familiar? You may have some anxiety around wondering 'Am I good enough? I feel like an impostor. I'm lacking fulfillment.' You may have found several things that could be helpful, but you're not sure what's actually going to work. Feeling some uncertainty? Overwhelm? So how well can you sit with these feelings- the anxiety, uncertainty, incompetence? My guess is not good. Most of us struggle with these feelings.
What can you do about it? Become an observer of yourself! Take a step back and look at what you do when you experience these feelings. Do you rush out to buy another book or "something that will make the feeling go away?" Observe the feeling and your reactions to it without being judgmental. Take responsibility for the feeling by stating them out loud - "I'm don't feel adequate in my job."
When you're immediate remedy doesn't alleviate the feeling (buying that book), what's your next move? Tip: placing judgment on yourself or the feeling won't help here. So don't hate, appreciate. The feelings are signals. That's it. Use them as such. What are they really trying to tell you? Tip #2: it's usually not the surface thing you think it's telling you. Dig deeper by observing. Contain the feelings not but suppressing them, but by allowing them some space on your bookshelf, acknowledging them (out loud!), and being aware of your reactions to them.
So how will you clean up your bookshelf? Here are some suggestions:
- Get rid of the books (mental schemas) that aren't serving you. i.e. You're not good enough, You will never succeed. These aren't good books, trust me :)
- Reorganize the books your want to keep. Know where to find books like You Are Loved and You have support at a moments notice. These are the best books to reread as needed!
- Leave open space on your bookshelf for future readings. Being open to new ideas about yourself and world requires mental space to do so. So make room for the You that will continue to grow and evolve in your career, relationships, and life.
Tell us about your mental bookshelf below. How have you organized it for the better? Share your experience now!
I had an amazing time working with the female athletes of CrossFit Providence over the weekend! I never tire of meeting new members and seeing the tenacity and strength in each one! You ladies never fail to amaze me with your accomplishments inside and outside of the gym. So in honor of the awesomeness of the ladies at the Women's Workshop on Saturday Jan 25th, I will let all of you in on a little secret I shared with them:
You can have the life you really want!
I know, right?! Amazing stuff! It's all yours, just waiting for you to believe in yourself, your strength, and your truth enough to go get it! So this is where I come in...
Do you have a dream life? I do - it's me on a beach, with a good book, great food, and working 4 hours a day. What's yours? Want your dream life to live forever in dreamland or reality? That's your choice!
Want to choose to make your dream life your reality? Not everyone does. Some are too afraid to share their dreams with others because then they'll have to answer for their lack of progress towards their dream. So they never achieve their dream out of FEAR. Remember what I said about fear...
What's that you say? So you're not going to let fear run your life and steer you away from your dreams? GREAT!
Now what? Strategize for success! You're not going to get there overnight, but if you want to make sure you achieve your dream life at some point, you need a plan!
Below is my Life Aim worksheet with steps to:
- visualize your dream life,
- break it down,
- determine needed resources,
- and goal set!
What's your Life Aim? Share yours below and you may inspire others :) Want help developing a Life Aim? Work with me!
Be Your Best Self!
I'm away on vacation right now (yay!) which has allowed for a lot of reading I've been meaning to catch up on. Currently open is a book by Susan Thesenga called The Undefended Self. This book identifies our different levels of consciousness and desires as the lower self (where all the negativity and anger hang out), higher self (our spiritual and inherently good self), and mask (our defenses and what we show others). I was struck by a quote in the book that has stuck with me for a few days now:
"The call for the soul to grow spiritually comes to us in the form of our personal longings. Every human being longs for something we believe will make our lives more fulfilling. This may come to us as longing for deep mutuality with a mate, or for meaningful work, or for a more loving family. Or our desires may be spiritual fulfillment, for a deeper relationship with God, or to connect to the environment around us. Behind these specific desires is a feeling or a sensing that another more fulfilling state of consciousness and a larger capacity to experience life must exist."
What an amazing and unifying thought- that we could all be connected through this longing for fulfillment. Although we may be seeking fulfillment in different ways, each one of our higher selves wants to be better and get more out of this life. Can we help each other achieve that? Can we help ourselves succeed?
Tell us below in the comment box what you need for greater fulfillment! How will you get it?
Would you buy something that’s really cheap and probably doesn’t live up to its promises? Or, would you buy something very expensive that probably is overpriced and exceeds what you need? Exactly! No! Whether we’re shopping for a new phone or a partner, we’re always looking for value. We want something that has longevity and is of quality, but don’t want to overpay for it. We’re constantly seeking that sweet spot.
So what’s your value? In your job, as a friend, as a partner?
Ever feel that you work really hard, but your efforts aren’t being recognized? Feel that you deserve better than what you have in life? Maybe it’s time to raise your value.
Value is a product of economics – a direct relation of supply and demand. If the supply is limited, than the demand is likely to increase. And if demand is increasing and supply is limited, than the thing (which could be you!) becomes more valuable.
So what do I mean “limit your supply?”
Have you ever wanted to get ahead at work? So you volunteered to stay late, said “yes” to all your boss’s requests, and watched someone else get that promotion? How could the boss have chosen that guy who doesn’t do anything extra and makes his own demands?
Ever been so infatuated with someone that you were willing to clear your schedule at his or her beckon call? Who hasn’t?! How did that work out? My guess is that it didn’t.
Interested in changing that? Want to get what you want without working so hard for it? Take control of your future by taking back the reigns on your priorities.
What are your priorities in life? Right now. This second.
So when you stay for extra hours at work, what happens to your priorities? When you don’t take care of something you need to in order to see that person you can live without, where are your priorities?
You, your goals, and your dreams are very important, so treat them that way! If you’re willing to drop everything for others, it sends the message that, indeed you’re not very important and therefore have a low value. That guy who’s not willing to do more for free or can't meet up with you on the drop of a hat is sending the message that he’s more valuable than that!
So which guy/girl do you want to be?
-Reevaluate your priorities
-Don’t put your needs last
-And always ask yourself “is this aligned with my goals?”
This will allow you to increase your value to get what you really want in your life! What are you doing now to get what you want? What hasn’t worked for you? Share it below now!
So you made a New Year’s resolution and a week in it’s already difficult to remember it and stay on track. You’re not alone. How can you make your goals an everyday part of your life?
Visual ques. Take a note from your friends on Pinterest and create a vision board!
What’s a vision board? Anything that is inspiring, related to your goals, and encourages you to get after it!
Above is an example of a men’s fitness vision board (or porn for women, whichever!). If you’re looking for aesthetic results from health and fitness, then this is a great vision board for you.
Looking for something different? Below are some great goal categories to consider. Pick no more than 3 visions for your vision board; any more would be confusing.
Put your vision board somewhere where you will see it! In your office, on the fridge, or in your car to see on the way to work. Make sure it’s in a place that you will see it EVERYDAY!
Above all else, you vision board should reflect who you authentically are and what you really want in life! Choose pictures that motivate you immediately and make you strive to be your best self!
Already have a vision board? Submit a picture or a link to it below! Need help formulating your vision? Contact me for a free consultation!
Happy 2014 Everyone! Out with the old and in with the New You! What are you going to do this year to make 2014 your best year?
Since it's January 1st, I know some of you must have thought about your resolutions already. So let's hear them! I'm always looking for new ideas, and I love hearing from readers!
Anyone out there have a health and wellness goal? If so, check out Mind Body Green's website for endless tips on nutrition, mindfulness, and fitness. I learn new tricks all the time on there, so check it out!
What's my New Year's resolution? To eat 1 cup of greens (kale, arugula, or spinach) a day. I make so many goals and achievement plans in my work, fitness, etc. that I needed a resolution that takes better care of me. Because without me, I'm lost!
Share your resolutions and plans to achieve them below!
Meet Dr. McKaila Allcorn. She is just like the rest of us in that she’s a daughter, wife, and has a demanding job. But she’s different from us in a few ways too. McKaila had the discipline and commitment to significantly change her body, and as a result, improve her life!
So, what was the last straw McKaila?
“I had trained for 3 months to run a half marathon with some friends. I had been running several times per week and pushed myself during the race, only to find that I had lost 1 pound throughout the whole process! I know there had to be a better way to lose weight and get healthy.”
Like many of us, McKaila wanted better for herself and needed to change her ways. She had been busy in medical school and her residency at Kent Hospital, and let her health become less of a priority. But continuing on this path was a not an option for her if she was going to live the life she wanted and help care for others who are sick as an ER doctor.
So what did you do?
“I am from Oklahoma and had a friend back home that had talked with me about this product called Juice Plus+. So I did my research and found that I was going to have to significantly change my diet if I was going get healthy and lose weight.” Juice Plus+ provides whole food nutrition in a capsule so you can get the fruits and vegetables your body needs to run most effectively. It’s then next best thing to actual fruits and vegetables for a busy lifestyle.
McKaila says she loves this product because they provide nutrition plans and education. This knowledge can empower sustainable change for people’s diets. Additionally, the nutrition plan encourages you to try several different diets, such as gluten free, vegan, vegetarian, etc. That way, you can see what your body responds to, and cater your meal planning from there. All diets aren’t right for everyone, so find the plan that works for you and get after it!
But it wasn’t just supplements that changed McKaila’s body. Not even close! Real foods and preparation are requirements! McKaila said she would cook several meals on Sundays and package them up so she’d be ready for work, snacks, and any other time that would tempt her away from her goals.
McKaila said she notice a big energy boost after making these changes – along with better skin, and friends who had reported getting off medications because of the positive effect real foods had on them.
So as long as I eat right I’ll have these results?
Wrong again! McKaila said she was also in search for something that would nourish her physically, mentally, and spiritually. Yoga. Several times a week, no excuses. Rain or shine. “If you’re going to make a real lifestyle change, you have to be consistent. It can’t just be when you feel like it.” McKaila is currently training to become a yoga teacher and share with others the positive experience she’s had with yoga and it’s supportive community at Laughing Elephant yoga in East Greenwich.
Any tips for the rest of us?
“Find your motivation. Mine was my long-term health. I used positive self-talk to get through those tough days.” Time management is very important too. Make sure to make a date with healthy cooking and the gym that you won’t flake out on!
Doctor McKaila mentions that obesity is a risk factor for so many diseases and conditions that are life threatening. So don’t be a victim - get healthy, get active and regain control of your life!
What are your health and fitness goals for 2014? Will YOU be the next person we feature for Serious About Change?
In the midst of the Holiday season, what are you doing to try to avoid an eating overload and sugar comas? We know you can't say no to mom's home cooking and Aunt Susie would be totally offended if you didn't try her pound cake! So how do you deal? Make a schedule. Find out when all those holiday gatherings are and write them down. Then make all non-party days the time to recover, restore, and reset for nutrition's sake!
Don't just take my word for it. Harvard Medical School's vast scientific and social research has produced the following tips to make your holiday meals a success - without adding extra pounds to work off after New Years!
- Change your perspective! Good eating is not a punishment, but an opportunity. If you know why it's important and what to do, you'll find it enjoyable and satisfying.
- Change slowly. By the time you are 40, you'll have eaten some 40,000 meals — and lots of snacks besides. Give yourself time to change, targeting one item a week.
- Snack on unsalted nuts, trail mix, fruit, raw veggies, Rye Krisp, or graham crackers. Try eating a few handfuls of a crunchy fiber cereal such as Kashi, or nibble on a cereal bar.
- Experiment with new recipes and meal plans. Be creative and take chances. Instead of dreading your new diet, have fun with it.
- Take a long-range view. Don't get down on yourself if you slip up or "cheat" from time to time.
What is your plan for Holiday survival plan? How do you keep your nutrition in check? Share below!!
I hear this all the time: "I tried to change but it's not working." "I keep trying but nothing is changing." Etcetera, etcetera. Look people, if whatever it is took years to 'break' then it's not going to be completely fixed overnight!
Most people have a linear picture of what success looks like in their heads. And that makes sense for the most part - If someone is successful, they mostly likely have small achievements on a daily basis.
But I like to reality-check that idea with this saying: "an overnight success is really an everyday hustler." Meaning....this person didn't become successful in a snap! They've worked years to get where they are!
One of my favorite examples of this is GoPro cameras. You see these awesome sports cameras everywhere in 2013! But what most people don't know is that the founder first got this idea in 2000! He has been working his butt off for 2013 years to make this a household item! 13 years!!! What have you worked on relentlessly for 13 years? Yeah, I know... me neither.
The point of this is not to make us all feel bad and lazy, but to recognize that each time we keep trying, each effort we make to reach our goals, is still putting on the path for success. We learn from every experience we have, whether we think it came out great or poorly. We gain strength from each time we get back on the horse and give it another go.
Success can largely be attributed to a frame a mind. As said by Tony Robbins:
“People who fail focus on what they will have to go through; people who succeed focus on what it will feel like at the end.”
So when you've been knock off track and feel like you will never achieve change or success, quit focusing on the small steps and get back in touch with your big picture.
What does your goal look like? What will it feel like when you get there? Share your goals below in the comment section now!
Today with the passing of a great leader, we reflect on a life of hardship, achievement, and respect that took a lifetime to earn. In today's world where people expect instant gratification and entitlement, leaders like Nelson Mandela are becoming more scarce. Even from his humble beginnings, Mandela challenged the status quo and himself to be better. Mandela thought outside of the box, had original ideas, and refused to accept no for an answer. Through great strife and oppression, Mandela's movement of ending apartheid gained momentum and he was able to build a more racially-integrated South Africa and positively impact people all over the world.
So what do you think defines a leader? What sets someone apart? What qualities are found in all great leaders?
Before you comment below, I'll leave you with some of Mandela's most inspirational guidance:
"It always seems impossible until it's done."
"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."
"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."
R.I.P. Nelson Mandela
What men need to live a happy life Here it is... all the secrets you're looking for to obtain fulfillment, control, and clarity in your life. Yeah right, I wish it were that easy too! But this article on Harvard University's 75-year longitudinal study does reveal some interesting correlations between men's happiness and their lifestyle choices.
Here are a few of their findings:
- A man's IQ does not determine his earning capacity over the lifetime
- Alcoholism is detrimental any way you spin it- to your health, relationships, and cognitive functioning
- Men who were Liberals had more vibrant sex lives well into old age versus conservatives. This is fascinating!
- There is a powerful correlation between the warmth in your relationships and health and happiness in your later years. So start hugging it out!
Read the full article now to learn more about the changes you can make today for a long and happy life.
What changes are you most likely to make? What are your priorities? Share your choices below in the comments section!
I get this awesome box of veggies delivered straight to my work from VeggieBox.com each week. And best of all- all the food is from local farmers in my state if Rhode Island! I love smart initiatives like This that nourish our bodies, minds, and communities! What did you eat today? Share your best food choice below!
In the midst of the holiday season we're traveling, cooking, shopping, and being busy bees! With so much going on, it can be so easy to lose sight of the real celebration- our abundance. We have so much to be thankful for, but we hardly have the time to sit down and think about all that we have in our lives. So my Thanksgiving starts now with a list of what I'm thankful for:
- My job: allowing me to share my gift with others and helping them become their best self!
- My family: for always being supportive and loving in whatever I wanted to do!
- My health: feeling good and strengthening my body with good food and fitness
- My husband: my always being my partner in crime and supporting my dreams
- My abundance: I have so much in my life, more than I need. And I'm thankful for that. But I also understand that's why I need to give back. I make every effort to bring my best self to the table everyday for those I work with, serve, and love. I deserve it, and you deserve it for me!
So what are you thankful for this year? What kinds of abundance do you have in your life?
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Happy Monday! I know a lot of people who look at Mondays as an opportunity for a fresh start and chance to make a change. What's something you want to change? So what do people do to make this change stick? Yes, I can eat a very healthy meal and I can exercise for 3 days in a row. But what makes for lasting change? What determines the success of those are able to make stick it out?
Here are 5 ways people have made lasting lifestyle changes in their lives:
- Hit rock bottom to face change: Being forced to lose weight or exercise due to severe health consequences (i.e. diabetes).
- Take baby steps: Set a realistic change goal for your diet by eliminating one food item at a time.
- It takes a village: Get a support team in place that you can call in a time of need. Kind of like a change sponsor!
- What's in your environment: Are you trying to drink less but work at a bar? Hmmm.... Consider working somewhere different to increase the likelihood of your success. Can't change your job? Look at smaller changes that will influence your behavior.
- Take Einstein's advice: The definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." So if you've tried to make a change and it's not working, Albert says to try something else!
Let's hear it! What are doing to make a change in your life? I want to hear what's working and what hasn't for you! Comment below now!