Are you just FAKING it?

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I often talk about connection as a central purpose in our lives. It’s the source of a lot of our happiness, self-worth, and shared human experience. However, what we do and how we try to connect can say a lot about our true intentions and motivations.

So what do I mean by that?

Think about a conversation you’ve had recently – we use storytelling as a way to connect, relate, and empathize with each other. Right?

Think about the kind of stories people tell you:

  • Do they use over sharing? Like telling you intimate details too soon for your relationship with them? Chances are this is a pseudo connection, and can actually push people away from you.
  • Are they comparing themselves to you or one-upping you? Sounds like they are motivated to build their own self-importance – which does not lead to a real connection!

True vulnerability uses healthy boundaries. It allows for the time to build trust and is held accountable by both parties involved. Who do you connect with like this?

{WATCH the video to find out if YOU fake it!}

Now, think about how you connect with others:

  • What kind of stories do you tell? Why do you tell them?
  • When you’re trying to really connect with someone, what do you do differently?

So, I challenge you to really consider your motivations and intentions behind what you share and how you try to connect.  Be more mindful of this in your next conversation. Find out what you do differently when you really want a genuine connection, and how it affects the connection you make.

Did you try it? Share your comments and experience in the section below the video (on YouTube) or in the comments section on the Blog.

Are You Really Satisfied?

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Are You Really Satisfied? If I asked you to rate how you feel about your life right now, how would you rate it? A solid 8 out of 10, or more like a 5 because it could really be better?

Why do I ask?

A Wall Street Journal article posed this question recently: “Are you a Satisficer of a Maximizer?” The researchers asked a series of questions to see if people were generally satisfied with what they have (job, possessions, lifestyle) or if they found themselves always searching for the next best thing.

Why is this important?

What the researchers found is that there is a significant gap in “happiness” between the Satisficers and Maximizers. And the Satisficers come out on top!

Surprised by these results? At first it may seem that they’re suggesting you lower your standards. But what the research really suggests is that you need more gratitude in your life!

Come over to the blog to watch the video for ways to get more grateful and become a Satisficer!

In the comments, I’d love to hear from you!

Have you ever felt overwhelming nagging to have something different – a car, a job? Or, if you’ve been about to get over that “next best thing” search and have a story to share, let us know!

3 Steps to Crush Control

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Control. It has such a harsh and negative ring to it, right? Yet it’s something we want in so many aspects of lives. We want control with our partners, in our careers, and over our dog. However, the things we do to gain control are not so good… yell, make demands, not listen to others.

So why do we do it then? FEAR.

Our need to control people and situations is based on our primitive fears that we will not have our basic needs met – including money, love, and acceptance.

How do you make this different? 

If control didn’t serve us well in some ways, we wouldn’t use it so often. Consider some of the ways in which control is useful – planning, making a schedule, and exercising discipline.

But when it doesn’t serve us well, we need to let go control without anxiety or worry.

How do you do let go? [watch the video]

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Use these 3 Steps to Crush Control in your life when it’s NOT needed:

  • Recite your intentions
  • Reality check yourself
  • Stay present

Don’t take my word for it! Check out the video for waaaay more tips and examples to let go of the things in your life that are holding you back from the life you want to live.

Let’s create a conversation in the comments section of this blog to share even more tips and success stories!

Ditch the Dissonance!

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Last week, we spoke about goals and how to create a 60-day plan in order to move you closer to where you want to be.  

Goals are a great thing, don’t get me wrong, but they can be tricky too!

 

Sometimes when we’re reviewing our goals, we can fall into the dreaded zone of getting down on ourselves for where we’re at right now. We want to skip over the hard work and just be there already!

 

I call that space between “where you’re at” and “where you want to be” cognitive dissonance.

 

So ditch the dissonance, and actually move forward towards your goals!

 

You can do this in 3 quick steps [watch the video for full description and action steps]:

  1. Use your goals to help, not hinder, your motivation!
  2. Pull up your big girl pants! Everyone started in a similar place, so take responsibility for creating your success.
  3. “Sweat equity is the best equity!” so get back to work!

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Success is so sweet because of the journey it took to get there. Don’t deny yourself that opportunity for hard work and big rewards.

 

Share your Sweat Equity moments in the comments section below! The best conversation starts here, where we can learn from each other.

 

Work with me to find out even more ways you can make positive changes for your life and get want you really want!

 

xo Brittany

Super Successful September!

Happy September!

September is my favorite month for a few reasons- perfect weather (warm days, cool nights), fall clothes and boots, and back to school time (renewed energy and focus).

And like the students, September is when I go back to school too! Who doesn’t let the reigns loose during the summer?! You stay out later, live in the moment, and are slightly less responsible.

But with Labor Day comes the next season and next chapter of your unique story. Make sure it tells the story you want - with achievements and successes you're proud of! This requires renewed focus, vision, and strategy to get to where we want to be!

I want you to have a super successful September with a 60-day plan.

What’s a 60-day plan? A simple, clear way to see your goals for success. All you need in your 60-Day Plan for Success:

- title (hint hint... 60-day plan!)

- dates of plan (*if you start today, it's 9/2-11/1)

- listed goals

- and action steps

Watch the video for more details on how to make your own 60-day plan today!

Watch: 

http://youtu.be/

qxk7KRbtxS8

What did you put on your 60-day plan? What action step will you take first? 

Let's start a conversation

in the comments section on this video or blog post!

4 Steps to Being Heard!

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Do you ever catch yourself saying this: "How many times do I have to say it?" Or "why can't you understand me?" Or better yet "am I speaking English?"

Communicating with others can be confusing and frustrating at best! Sometimes it seems that those closest to us have the most difficult time understanding what we're really saying. But who's really to blame - them or us?  

Great communication is the result of authenticity and love-based efforts to be heard! Are your speaking from a place of love or fear? Psssttt - have you ever not send what you really meant or wantd? Ever held back or held it in? That's fear.

Use these 4 components to say what you truly want, desire, and value to get your needs met!

1.    Observing: The concrete actions we are observing that are affecting

       our well-being

2.    Feelings: How we feel in relation to what we are observing

3.    Needs: The needs, values, desires, etc. that are creating our

       feelings

4.    Request: The concrete action we request in order to enrich our

       lives

Watch the video to see how it all plays out!

What component works best for you? When have you tried this and it actually worked? What's an example in which you can use this strategy that wasn't mentioned? Let's start a conversation in the comments section on this video or blog post!

Your Key to Happiness

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Ever look aimlessly for your keys and they're nowhere to be found?! Yeah, this is kind of like that. Frustrating, but so rewarding when you find them!

Ever look aimlessly for your keys and they're nowhere to be found?! Yeah, this is kind of like that. Frustrating, but so rewarding when you find them!

Everyone’s always looking for the key to happiness. Trying to find it in their career, their relationships, and other external things. But happiness has to come from within. 
This is good news for some and bad news for others: the good news is that if happiness comes from within, that means we’re all capable of having it. We’re all capable of being happy. The “bad” news that it comes from within, meaning that you’re going to have to look in the mirror and dig through the trenches to find it. 
Sometimes it’s hidden beneath the very things we’ve been trying to avoid and ignore in our lives. Sometimes it’s smack dab in the middle of us and our relationships with others. But no matter where happiness is hiding, we need to do the following things to find it…..  [watche the video]
Wach: http://youtu.be/JHfWMvZ1ONU
  1. Draw a map. Where was your happiness the last time you saw it? Where has it been in the past? At different stages of your life?
  2. Make a to do list based on the activities you were doing when you’ve been happier in the past. 
  3. Be aware! How are you acting during the day? What’s your mood like? How are you interacting with others? All of these things impact our happiness, and you will need to be aware of what you’re doing now if you’re going to change it.
  4. Give a damn! If you want to be happier, then you’re going to have to make an effort, engage, and care about YOU!
When has this worked for you? When have you been happier in your life? What's something you already know helps you feel happier? I CHALLENGE you to write one thing in the comments section that you will change TODAY to make room for more happiness!

I want to hear from YOU! Send me your questions, suggestions, and comments on what you want to see and hear from me on videos, blogs, and newsletters! I want to give you exactly what you need to be your best self!

How I'm a Failure...And I Love It!

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Who doesn't have days when you feel like nothing is going right, and you'll never get back on track?! 

And when you share that with anyone, it's like they're all on the happy train and trying to steer you away from negativity.

But sometimes you need to wallow in your failures before you can see the flipside!

It's days like that when I call on my Failure role models for a little inspiration! Steve Jobs, Michael Jordan, and Beyonce Knowles were all failures at one point in their lives.

It's difficult to even imagine such successful people as failing at something. But they do! All the time! What they're able to do is the see the Failure Flipside! 

When you're experiencing failure, the key is to envision your success in that exact scenario. Watch this week's video to learn the Failure Flipside approach to turning your devastating failures into future successes!

Listen as I share my personal failures, my failure role models, and the key to changing your failures today!

Vlog 7.14 shot

http://youtu.be/MUckG7WvXmU

What's have you failed at? I know, you're not supposed to talk about these things or let anyone know your weaknesses. Yeah right! Make that different! Share your experiences to empower your progress and help others in the comments section of this video!

I want to hear from YOU! Send me your questions, suggestions, and comments on what you want to see and hear from me on videos, blogs, and newsletters! I want to give you exactly what you need to be your best self!

Want more?

Work with me to find out even more ways you can make positive changes for your life and get want you really want!

Check out the blog for more tips to be your best self and build a life you love!

 

Cheers,

Brittany

3 Questions to Kick Out Self Doubt!

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Ever feel that wave of self doubt seep in just when you needed to be on your "A" game? Self doubt can get in between you and your happiness, goals, and success... but only if you let it!

I used to get sooo nervous when I would post a new blog or share a video. My self doubt would say, "No one's going to like it, your ideas are no good, and all your clients may leave you." Yuck! Why did I do that to myself?

Going outside of your comfort zone may be scary, but it's essential for your growth and personal development.

Your self doubt can serve you in these situations too - by reminding us to be more prepared and utilize knowledge from past experiences. But keep it in check!

Give your self doubt a reality check by asking yourself these 3 questions: 

- What's the worst case scenario?

- Is it likely to happen?

- What's my back up plan if it does happen?

What ways do you let self doubt into your life? What have you always wanted to do, but self doubt has held you back? Self doubt claims more dreams than failure ever will, but don't let yours be one of them!

Find out more ways to kick out self doubt as I spill my guts in in the video below!

Share your experience with self doubt, and what you did to tackle it in the comments section of the video! Hey - we can all learn a thing or two from each other, right?! What action steps did you take? And what changes did you see?

 

Work with me to find out even more ways you can make positive changes for your life and get want you really want! Check out the blog for more tips to be your best self and build a life you love! 

Be your best self,

Brittany

Vlog: My Miracle Morning

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How did your morning start out?

Was it bright, cheery, and full of energy right when you rolled out of bed? Or was it more like snooooooozzzze as long as possible, rush to get out the door, and curse towards the sky because it's Monday again?

Yeah, the second one? I thought so!

Many personal development coaches speak about the power of a positive and intentional morning. That a few key actions right when you wake up can make the difference in your day, and eventually your life

What do you think? 

So I've set out to attempt my own version of a miracle morning... Guess what I've found??! These little changes CAN make a huge difference in your day! Especially your attitude! 

Find out what changes I've made and see the results in the video below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbvYRPiaxNg

Don't forget to share your miracle morning experience in the comments section of the video! Hey - we can all learn a thing or two from each other, right?! What action steps did you take? And what changes did you see?

Want more?

Sign up for weekly videos, tips, and love here to be the first to get this info!

Be your best self,

Brittany

Seminar Countdown!

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With only 7 days until the start of the Build Your Best Self seminar, I wanted to do a 12-days of Christmas-isque countdown. See 6 and 7 below:

Day 7

There are 7 days in a week. Each day provides us with a new opportunity to focus our intention, find clarity in action, and pursue our greatest desires. What did you do in your last 7 days? Come join us to find your focus!

6 Days until the Build Your Best Self seminar:

Experts say we are all connected by 6 degrees of separation. But even with the people we already know, doesn't it feel like we're separated by even more? It can be really difficult to open up to the ones we love and speak our truth. We have fears of rejection, seeming needy, and feeling vulnerable. In order to Build Your Best Self, you need to rally the support of those in your life. You need to learn to communicate effectively, ask for what you need, and speak from the heart. Have trouble doing that? See you May 1st then.

Find out more information about the seminar on my vlog and email me at brittany.drozd@gmail.com!

Find Your Passion!

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Do you have a friend who is always excited to tell you about their new workout program? How about a relative that’s posting pictures of their nutritious meals? A colleague who is so stoked about their recent promotion? Yeah, you know these people. They’re usually the ones we love to hate. But have you ever asked yourself, “Why are you hating on this guy?” These people are generally positive, optimistic, and fun loving. So what do you have against them?

Their Passion!

These people have a passion for something- whether it’s the gym, a sunny day, or making a positive change in their life.

So when you’re down in the dumps, it’s easy to hate on these people for their optimism. But really, we’re jealous! The real you says “I want that enthusiasm, energy, and spirit! I want to be that passionate about something!”

So how do you find passion?

  1. The first key to finding your passion is understanding passion. Passion is defined as a strong and compelling emotion, feeling, or desire. Passion can come in the form of positive and negative, such as love and hate. If you’ve ever been really opposed to a new policy or legislation, you can relate to a negative form of passion. It’s important to understand that both forms of passion can be fulfilling.
  1. What turns you on? The second key to finding your passion is paying attention to what turns you on. What gets you excited? What activity leaves you with more energy? What would you do if money were no object? List your answers to these questions in simple, one-word columns. What patterns do you see in the responses? Try to create categories from there to narrow it down.
  1. Discipline is the third key to your passion. What are you willing to wake up at 6am for? What do you make sure you do daily or weekly no matter how busy you are? What is something you feel you can’t live without doing in your life? Again, list your one-word answers and look for patterns and categories. Are any similar to your answers to #2?
  1. What do you want to change? What do you wish was different about the world? What do you want to change in your life? Less stressful job? Travel more? Connect better to friends and family? When we notice we want to change something in our own lives, we often find that’s true for others as well. Suddenly, your desire for change is authenticated and supported by many others in your circle. When we see a need that could potentially benefit hundreds of lives, we can find the energy to bring it to fruition. Use the answers from this section to compare to #2 and #3.

Now what?

What common threads did you find in your answers? Start looking there for a theme or category that you really connect with. Then try it out! The truth is you never really know what your passionate about until you give it a chance. Maybe your were certain you would love working in healthcare, but you tried it out and it was much different than you thought it would be. Then try again! You can always return to your list for more inspiration.

Grow your list as well! This isn’t something that will remain stagnant, and will change as you grow and explore yourself and your surroundings.

Let go of feeling like you have to have all the answers about your greatest passions and pursuing your life’s dreams. The benefits of passions and dreams are in the journey, not necessarily the destination.

Already found a passion? Share it below! You never know who you'll inspire!!

Find out what's missing TODAY!

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Included in the Build Your Best Self seminar is my Status and Strategy Assessment ($199 value). Get a peek of what the 4-page assessment looks like. This is a great tool to find out EXACTLY:

• What’s missing in your life

• What’s stealing your drive and motivation

• What’s causing lack of clarity and keeping you from moving forward

• What clouds your vision and prevents you from formulating an action plan

• What you can start doing TODAY to achieve greater success

Get it FREE when you sign up for the seminar!

The Build Your Best Self seminar begins May 1st! Contact me to reserve your spot!

First Vlog (video blog)!!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEtYN-R4zSk Find out more information about my 4-week seminar by contacting me on this website or via email at brittany.drozd@gmail.com!

Be brave enough to take the risk to build a better you!

The Ultimate Success Strategy

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“Be a little selfish and do something for yourself every day, something different once a month and something spectacular every year.” -anonymous

Turn Your Wishes into Reality

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Do you ever feel…

  • Not good enough?
  • Unfulfilled by what you do have?
  • Not happy when you think you should be?
  • You’re living without intention?
  • Overwhelmed, spinning, and can’t get ahead?

Sound familiar? Want it to be different?

Real change is possible when we can identify who we really are, what we want, and eliminate obstacles in our way! This 4-week seminar will supply the tools to make real change possible in your life.

Being limited to 10 people will allow for more time to work on you and get what you need out of it.

By the end of this series, you will…

  • Develop your Life Aim
  • Nail down specific and focused goals
  • Identify what’s serving you; and get rid of what’s not!
  • Build the self care you need to succeed
  • Have a greater sense of clarity in your life
  • Ask for what you really want, and have a plan to get it!

Not sure if this is what you need? Ask questions in the comment section below, or call (401.441.1626) or email (brittany.drozd@gmail.com) to contact me directly!

What did you do today to bring you closer to your dreams?

- Brittany

Change Vs. Progress

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“Only two things in life are certain – death and taxes.” Heard this before? Definitely rings true during tax season! But I’d like to propose that something else is certain as well: Change.

While it often seems that we’re stuck in a rut, we know that change will come. Why? Because it has every time before! We used to be little, then we grew. We used to have flip phones, now we have iPhones.  We used to have no clue about our health, now we’re educated on how to be healthy.

We know change is coming; yet we still talk about making changes as if it’s some elusive challenge. Change is certain. Progress is not.

So what’s progress? Progress in your fitness? Nutrition? Overall health? If change is anything different from the status quo, then progress is a change that is more specific, goal-oriented, and measurable. 

Progress is a measure of relativity. You’re moving towards change in a specific direction. Movement on that trajectory is identified as progress. If you altered your habits to lose weight, but it resulted in weight gain, this is change but not progress. If you started a healthy diet to lose weight, and we’re gradually losing the weight, this is progress.

You need a goal in order to measure progress from change. PS- “I want to be healthy” is not a goal, it’s a statement. Make sure your goal has specifics, a timeline, and is measurable.

Specifics: Try “I will eat 3 servings of vegetables daily” versus “I will eat healthy”. By articulating the specific thing you will do, you will be more likely to actually do it!

Timeline: Create timeframes, start dates, and deadlines for yourself. Otherwise, your “Someday” will likely never come. Here’s a sample of a timeline - “I will eat 3 servings of vegetables daily for 6 consecutive weeks, beginning March 9th.”

Measurement: How do you know you’re not at your goal already? How do you know if you’re making progress towards your goal? Most importantly, how will you know when you’ve reached your goal? Measurement. This is key to the whole process of making progress and achieving your best self.

Ask yourself these questions to assess your goal for measurability:

-       Can you count it?

-       Can you create a percentage from your results to determine your progress? (i.e. I ate 3 servings of veggies 3 out of 5 days thus far= 60% progress towards goal).

-       Can you make adjustments to your goal based on your findings from your percentage and experience? (i.e. maybe only 2 servings of veggies daily is more reasonable for you. Maybe 5 days weekly versus 7 is better for you).

*This is not to say that you should lower your standards, but continuing to progress on an adjusted goal is more beneficial than failing miserably on a strict, unattainable goal.

Ok, Let’s go over what we know:

-       We know that change will come. The question is how, when, and in which direction?

-       We know that progress is necessary for improvement, not just change.

-       We need a goal in order to distinguish progress from change.

-       Our goal needs to be specific, have a timeline, and be measurable in order to evaluate progress.

If you don’t have a plan, you plan to fail. So make a plan, make progress and achieve your goals. This success will build your momentum for future goals and future successes. Progress, not change, is necessary to become your best self.

Is your life a disorganized bookshelf?

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'Is she really comparing my life to a bookshelf?' you might be asking yourself. The answer is yes. If you're like me, then your life IS like a disorganized bookshelf.

What do I mean? Our mind works like a series shelves and compartments. We see something, think something, experience something, and then we categorize it. These categories act as compartments and cubbies in our brains- strictly organizing the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors of ourselves and others accordingly.  The categories, compartments, and cubbies are created based on our mental schemas, or mind frames. For instance, if you're religious, you may believe that premarital sex is bad. That belief acts a blueprint for other thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to be categorized. So if a friend shares something about their relationship, you may categorize them as good or bad based on your pre-developed schema. Got it?

Make space in your bookshelf. Make space for new ideas, feelings, and a new schema. Think about the schemas and mind frames your parents hold. How are yours similar and different? How did you develop different schemas than your parents on the same principles/thoughts? Your experience! And thank goodness for it! If our thoughts and perspective stayed the same for generations, then we wouldn't have civil rights and marriage equality.

So how are the cubbies on your bookshelf serving you? Or not serving you? What categories should you eliminate, combine, or make more room for? Hint: Making more room to explore your rationalization for certain schemas, being open to new schemas, and new labels for healthier schemas is key! Until we accept our need for growth and make it a priority, your bookshelf will appear full and crowded. Get rid of what's not serving you for some new books (ideas)!

Your bookshelf is for practicing containment. For instance, one cubby of your bookshelf (the self-help section!) may be overflowing with books, going all different directions, and very few have actually been read. Sound familiar? You may have some anxiety around wondering 'Am I good enough? I feel like an impostor. I'm lacking fulfillment.'  You may have found several things that could be helpful, but you're not sure what's actually going to work. Feeling some uncertainty? Overwhelm? So how well can you sit with these feelings- the anxiety, uncertainty, incompetence? My guess is not good. Most of us struggle with these feelings.

What can you do about it? Become an observer of yourself! Take a step back and look at what you do when you experience these feelings. Do you rush out to buy another book or "something that will make the feeling go away?" Observe the feeling and your reactions to it without being judgmental. Take responsibility for the feeling by stating them out loud - "I'm don't feel adequate in my job."

When you're immediate remedy doesn't alleviate the feeling (buying that book), what's your next move? Tip: placing judgment on yourself or the feeling won't help here. So don't hate, appreciate. The feelings are signals. That's it. Use them as such. What are they really trying to tell you? Tip #2: it's usually not the surface thing you think it's telling you. Dig deeper by observing. Contain the feelings not but suppressing them, but by allowing them some space on your bookshelf, acknowledging them (out loud!), and being aware of your reactions to them.

So how will you clean up your bookshelf? Here are some suggestions:

- Get rid of the books (mental schemas) that aren't serving you. i.e. You're not good enough, You will never succeed. These aren't good books, trust me :)

- Reorganize the books your want to keep. Know where to find books like You Are Loved and You have support at a moments notice. These are the best books to reread as needed!

- Leave open space on your bookshelf for future readings. Being open to new ideas about yourself and world requires mental space to do so. So make room for the You that will continue to grow and evolve in your career, relationships, and life.

Tell us about your mental bookshelf below. How have you organized it for the better? Share your experience now!

Knock it off! (your to-do list, that is)

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Do you have a to-do list that feels like it's 10 miles long?! Yeah, me too!

Sometimes it seems that I can't move past a certain item or task on that list. For instance, an email I just won't sit down to write. A small task that I can't do because it's not fun. A correspondence I keep putting off and putting off because it will be awkward to have.

We can become hyper-focused on the obstacles we see in the situation versus the outcome we are striving for. This is we where you perfectionists and perfectionistas get stuck! You want that email to be perfect and that report to be exceptional, but you're not getting anywhere! 

I get it though! Our communication, work, and results are all products of us and say a lot about our abilities, skills, and discipline. But what is it saying when you don't return an email for 3 days waiting for those perfect words to come? Or staying up all night to perfect a report instead of spending time with your partner? Or taking time away from your own self-care to stress about something?

"Done is better than perfect."

Done means you get to cross it off the to-do list. Done means doing something fun after work. Done means getting that mental energy back for yourself. Done means moving forward.

Stop creating your own stress and move on! Here are 3 steps to getting over this hurdle:

- Let go of the idealism: if you would accept "good enough" sometimes from others, let that same rule apply to you!

- Promote self-love: Put yourself on your own to-do list; i.e. take a long bath, get a massage, read that book!

- Improve your balance: Not literally! Just make sure tasks and work time are equal to family, friends, and fun.

What are you stuck on right now? What's your plan to move forward and get stuff done?! Share your story below- it could help someone else out!